Saturday, February 10, 2007

Apoorva Marries Movie Star.... NOT!

The last post was about Iyers marriage. Now lets talk about mine!

For ye ignorants, I am back to the land of the Gujjus - USA. However, this trip to India has been a lot of fun to say the least. First up, 10 days after I landed in India, I landed up in a hospital. IV drip (I asked the doc to plug it into a Bacardi but he wouldnt agree) and the works. After a weeks stay at the hospital wherein the doctor successfully performed liposuction, butt implants and a lil botox I was sitting home recovering for a couple of more weeks. These few weeks turned out to be the perfect time for my Mom to brainwash me on getting married. And despite being highly drugged, I refused. When Mom used to say, "Lets check out some girls", I was so sure I am hearing things as an after-effect of 'em antibiotics. However I insisted I was too drugged to talk straight with a girl (which I never do, but served as a good excuse this time) and Mom went silent. For a while.

She waited calmly for a few weeks till I started club hopping with Abhi and gang. And then insisted I "check out some girls" since I was back to my normal self. One thing you should know about my Mom. She wont take a flat NO as an answer. However if you give her a No with some good reasoning to support it, she'll accept. However, she will make you regret it. Hence, this is the conversation which followed.

Me: I dont think in 14 days I can zero down on a girl I would like to get married to. Even if I found someone interesting (read - rich and hot), there is no way that in 14 days I am gonna get to know her so well to say she is the one. And once I leave for USA, I am not "getting to know her better via e-mail, chat or phone" (this by the way is an outright lie. If you are a rich hot chick reading this, I will chat, email and call you up like there is no tomorrow. Actually, lets get married tomorrow!)

Mom: True. Perhaps you are right. Its too late this time. Perhaps your next trip. (looks at Dad) You should tell the ZEE TV person Apoorva is not interested this time.

Me: ZEE TV?

Mom: Oh, I forget the familys name. Their only daughter is an actress. Stars in this show on ZEE, every Monday to Thursday, X:XX PM. They seemed to be interested.

Me: Oh.... accha? Really?

Mom: Yeah, her name is (held back for obvious reasons) and the character she plays is called (held back for obvious reasons)



So come Monday, X:XX PM, I creep into my room and tune into ZEE TV. And my Miss(ed) Opportunity is all over the boob tube. The sequence being shown is that she has been dumped by her fiancee, is standing on her house terrace shedding tears when it starts pouring. She continues standing there, getting all wet in the rain (called, get wet in the rain sequence). At the same time, my Mom enters the room.

Mom: Thats her! Thats her!

Me: (Depressed) Yeah.

Mom: She is so good looking no?

Me: (Depressed) Yeah.

Mom: But you are right. 10 days is too less to get to know someone. During our times it was different. Arranged marriages. They used to work out well.

And Mom walks out the door while Miss(ed) Opportunity gets drenched in the rain.

Now, wo has a gun I could borrow?

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15 Comments:

Blogger Jason said...

Dude!! Hope for you, there are plenty of women on Star Plus and Sony!!

Don't reach for the gun just as yet.... instead reach for the remote and change the channel and get mom to do the spadework :)

February 10, 2007 8:16 AM  
Blogger exclusively_me said...

er..btw which show was that??

February 10, 2007 8:40 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

wat abt the Finnish Miss that u had decided upon?

:P

KJ

February 11, 2007 1:18 AM  
Blogger anjali said...

This post felt like a dejavu. I remember something similar happened on your previous trip home, no?

February 12, 2007 12:30 AM  
Anonymous Deepak Jeswal said...

Don't they all keep crying always? U shud hv given a better hint to know our bhabhi-not-to-be :P

Dunno abt the hot part, but they earn well, so better get emailing, chatting and calling up right away.

February 12, 2007 1:45 AM  
Anonymous Deepak Jeswal said...

BTW, ur title says 'Movie star' ,so she has come in some films too , kya?

February 12, 2007 1:49 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

ah ajo what can i say...id love to help but unfortunately, while i am very hot, i am not too rich...but its ok life goes on :P

and *points and laughs* HA HA
*sings*
ajo messed up a chance with a hot-tie
ajo messed up a chance with a hot-tie

February 12, 2007 10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude u need to check her out the next time ....why m I so intrested ... 525 gang should knw ...:-)...yeh babby go for it
Amit

February 12, 2007 5:32 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Jason: Heh! I like that. 'Reach for the remote'. Maybe I shud also change my name and rename it to something from K.

#Exclusive: Now, why do u think I said 'held back for obvious reasons'.

#KJ: She never reached here!

#Anjali: No No! Previous trip was the plane fiasco! This is different. There I had a small girl claiming that I was a movie star. Here I am getting married to one (almost).

#Deepak: Smart questions. You are really trying to get down to the crux of the matter eh! Yes, she has come in movies, however, not the conventional Bollywood ones!
(PS: For all you know, I might be giving u wrong info to throw u off track).

#Mahi: Like I said, for you, I would make all exceptions! So, when do I come a-horse-riding?

February 12, 2007 9:51 PM  
Blogger Sense said...

Dude don't lose hope- don't you know all the southie film stars (female) are alkwasy on teh looking out for a 'nice boy' from the 'states' who will like 'nice, domesticated family girl'.

February 12, 2007 11:35 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Sharma: Will do! Aap toh phas gaye! hamein phasana chahate ho?

#Sense: Yes, I met all those at Iyers wedding! None seemed too keen to be domesticated

February 13, 2007 5:06 PM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Damn! This is a deja-vu. I had an comical 'arranged marriage' tryst with a Star Plus (some TV channel) actress; and now she is comin' out with her first Bollywood movie! Wow. I had gone ahead with ragging her though! I am evil, what can I say! :D

February 13, 2007 11:46 PM  
Blogger Di said...

sheesh..thats a missed opportunity if there was any!:D better luck next time.. and yeah nice blog uve got here.. :)

February 17, 2007 11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(HEY)Jo
I read this book
"Many Lives, Many Masters" by Dr. Brian Weiss and i found it interesting enough to tell u that its a must read book.

It might help you figure out your life phobia's ;)
Jokes apart if reincarnation interests you then read this book.

Amrita

February 20, 2007 3:37 PM  
Blogger anks said...

are u sure u wanna marry a soap actress??? they shed tears just like the artificial rain the miss(ed) opportunity was getting drenched in!!! ;P

February 21, 2007 7:27 AM  

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