Sunday, October 29, 2006

Now Hiring...

Seaport, NYC.

Ani: I'll stay here till my H1 runs out and head back to India.
Me: Yeah, me too!
Ani: Really? Will go back and start some business.
Me: I want to start a school.
Ani: School? Are you nuts? School?
Me: Yeah. "Apoo Jo's Girls High School"
Ani: Mark my words, someday you are going to jail.


Telephone, Baltimore - Hyderabad.

Nishchal: I am bored of Infy. Its like school. Some new thing needs to be learnt everyday and then they give you a test on it.
Me: If you are bored, go back to Mumbai. Start your own venture.
Nishchal: Hmmmmm.... good idea. Lets start something of our own.
Me: I want to start a school.
Nishchal: School? Huh? School? Are you nuts?
Me: No man. Seriously. "Apoo Jo's Girls High School"
Nishchal: I will be teacher!


Telephone, Baltimore - Mumbai.

He: Man, come back. We'll get piss drunk!
Me: I can do that here!
He: Hmmm... no man, forget USA. Come here, loadsa opportunities here. Know what, we could start something....
Me: I have been wanting to start a school.
He: School?
Me: "Apoo Jo's Girls High School"
He: OK! I will take care of the publicity/marketing.
Me: Cool.... how?
He: I'll have an affair with one of the students. Once the media comes to know, we are famous.


Baltimore, MD.

She: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You want to start a school. Noble thought Apoo. But why?
Me: Coz I feel everyone has the right to a basic education, but there is something beyond that which needs to be taught as well and...
She: No, why Girls High School?
Me: Coz women in rural parts of India have difficulty getting a basic education. And once I start a Girls School, a Boys school will crop up next to it. Trust me!
She: OK! I shall teach dance.
Me: Very cool.
She: Salsa!
Me: I am not sure if Salsa would be appreciated in rural parts....
She: Why not? Salsa is Salsa. Everyone loves Salsa. I could teach my pug to Salsa.
Me: OK....
She: But if we need partners, I am gonna have to pull boys over from the neighboring school. And then I can imagine you swatting them with your cane as they flirt with the girls.
Me: Miss, I am not gonna be carrying any cane.
She: Oh you are. Striped pants, white shirt, suspenders, specs, cane and a wig.



Sigh....

I need sane people. "Apoo Jo's Girls High School" is now hiring. Any volunteers? Benefits include Life, Dental, Vision AD&D. Other perks like free stationary, bus rides, milk and 3 months summer vacation.

Student admission is simple. "Apoo Jo's Girls High School" doesnt believe in attracting the best talent. It believes in producing the best talent.

Classes begin in 2020.

33 Comments:

Anonymous medha said...

You are psycho man! :p

Apoo Jo's girls high school?!

Seriously!
You SO need to occupy yourself with your GMAT studies once again. All this free time and excessive sleep is doing some MAJOR MENTAL DAMAGE to you! :p

Btw, school idea isn't bad... but the name has got to be changed! :p

October 29, 2006 5:07 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Hit me up, if you think a Scientist would be needed for your start-up. (I mean, school) :P

You are studying for GMAT too!?

October 29, 2006 10:12 AM  
Anonymous the pooh said...

Yeahhhh! Now I know where I can teach Music and Math.. wah! ur the great ... and yeah I need Brad to be my scientist so he can invent new things for my classes....so when do we start?

October 29, 2006 11:08 AM  
Blogger Nadya said...

hey there..

oh oh, can i apply as nurse?? :P

oh wait nvm, this isnt a boys' school is it..

October 29, 2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Medha: So go ahead... suggest a name!

#Brad: Scientist... yes. I need a scientist. You will get a while lab coat, and many test-tubes with Sulphuric acid
I was studying for GMAT in 2004. For one month. Then I gave up...

#Pooh: Yes, I know you teach. I shall consider you... but you have to first pass a test. I dont completely trust your mathematical knowledge! :P

#Nadya: LOL! Nice to see you here! This aint a boys school... but there will be male staff (of legal age). Wanna reconsider..?

October 29, 2006 9:53 PM  
Blogger Nadya said...

Lol.. legal age.. i think thts just a cover up from saying old :P

October 30, 2006 12:37 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

"It believes in producing the best talent." Not a bad idea at all...

can u pls reconsider changing the name to AJ girls high school?

:D

October 30, 2006 7:06 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

can we teach kids the benefits of alcohol?

October 30, 2006 8:57 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Nadya: Mess with under-age kids and you might need cover-up in form of anticipatory bail. :P

#KJ: "doesnt believe in attracting the best talent. It believes in producing the best talent." was the only serious part of this blog. And dont worry, if it comes true, will surely have a different name.

#Abhi: You get chemistry class. You can teach about ethanol. I would encourage practicals :P

October 30, 2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

why do i have a sneaky feeling that theres an ulterior motive behind all of this
ok i volunteer to teach art and literature and cooking!

October 31, 2006 1:26 AM  
Blogger anjali* said...

Name suggestion:
Apoostle Convent School!

October 31, 2006 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harr!!!!

I want to be the music teacher, I can teach them how to not play the drums, the keyboard and the harmonica!!

I like 'Apoostle Convent School' too...:)

October 31, 2006 12:59 PM  
Blogger jhantu said...

at ur blog the first time, really nice.. but why 2020?? u sure your h-1's gonna last that long!!

October 31, 2006 6:48 PM  
Blogger abhi said...

chem may not be such a good idea pops...

I once sucked up some sulphuric acid (and lost taste for a week), just coz the pipet didnt work.

... and once, when it did work, i burnt my friend's shoes (i was checking if the release mechanism was in order ... apparently yes)

not sure if i'd be right for the chem class er'

November 01, 2006 1:16 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

mahi: Cooking??

November 01, 2006 1:18 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

Can i volunteer to be the Physical Trainer?

November 01, 2006 3:11 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

abhi - yes i CAN cook, contrary to popular belief...of course i wouldnt really trust a persons' sense of taste after he's ingested sulphuric acid
-smirk-

November 01, 2006 6:19 AM  
Blogger memphis said...

Good show apoo…

Now that u have enlightened us with your future plan, I have a great offer for ya. Instead of investing so much in logistics, hiring teachers at-al, I can Teachers in beautiful looking bottles n in all possible subject flavors

November 02, 2006 6:00 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

mahi: 'in lieu of popular belief', I went blind a week after my taste came back ... so the tastebuds are in order now, but i'm blind .....

so u can cook an ugly looking meal which tastes good and i wont know...

November 02, 2006 9:36 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

abhi - youre assuming im gonna cook a meal for u :P
HOW PRESUMPTUOUS (again moahaha)

November 02, 2006 9:44 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

Mahi: I figured .. you cooking for me is a far better option than the other way round ... but whatever makes you happy sweetheart,

BTW, is it my turn to do the dishes tonite? Can I skip it for next year?

Apoo: apologies for making this a chat conversation, you have the right to not be silent and shoo us off

November 02, 2006 9:54 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

*splutter*
apoo can u kindly tell your buddy to stop this..this absurdity!
and DONT use the 'get a room' line
:@

November 02, 2006 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bhai ...good idea ...if seriosu let me knw ..will do tht ...
but lets not have one girl school lets have a junior college and a degree level college tooo ...
I knw wht u thinking catch them young n see them grow....wht kind of a sick person u r ...:-)
Amit

November 02, 2006 2:28 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Mahima: I'll give you art. And why not get a room? Lets get a room... and leave Abhi outside! Would that work?

#Anjali: Apoostle... ummm... sounds like a hospital we have. But I shall consider this suggestion.

#Menagerie: I mentioned this in the post. I need sane people :P

#Jhantu: Welcome. 2020 is my lucky number. But I like the way you question me. Would you like to work as security?

#Abhi: Ok, I'll give you computers dept. And put your cube next to Mahi's. Together you gus shall also double up as 'entertainment dept.'

#Bird: Only if you get into shape (and I dont mean round shape). Else you will be the marathi teacher.

#Memphis: You get the 'golawalla' role. To stand outside the school and sell golas mixed in teachers. Students should have exposure to all aspects of life.

#Amit: I shall put you in charge of the girls cricket team. Head coach!

November 02, 2006 8:52 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

no that would NOT work!!!!!
wth?
i refuse to 1) be in a room with either of u (AS MUCH AS THE U GUYS WOULD LOVE IT) and 2) be in a cubicle with either of u (mostly coz er...cubicles are too small for two people to fit.)

November 03, 2006 2:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

humm ...so ajo and abhi is out of the race ...good to knw tht ....
Amit

November 03, 2006 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude do tht N i promise u I will have a team tht will beat Aussi in 2023 ...world cup finals ...yeh ....

Amit

November 03, 2006 10:36 AM  
Anonymous B2b said...

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November 09, 2006 4:28 PM  
Anonymous flights said...

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November 09, 2006 4:30 PM  
Anonymous night vision said...

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November 09, 2006 4:31 PM  
Anonymous flooring said...

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November 09, 2006 4:32 PM  
Anonymous Health Insurance said...

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November 09, 2006 4:33 PM  
Anonymous someonearbit said...

Do you have a course in Melodrama and Histronics? I know people who excel at that.

January 08, 2007 11:15 PM  

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