Monkey Business

Nanguy alert! Long post alert.

Trackback to the summer of '99. Those were the days right? The Nanguys plan a trip to Matheran. For those who wouldnt know, Matheran is a hill station about 5 hours from Bombay. No cars allowed there and everything is red mud. Amazing place. And loads of horse shit. So its Abhi, Bird, Bakshi, Pals, Farro and me.

I'll leave the journey details for another day. Just that Bakshis huge bag fell from the top on some poor malnourished guys head in the train.

We get to the hotel, we have two attached rooms in a cottage kinda place for us. Neat I say. So all of us are sitting and enjoy the scene, red mud and fresh Matheran air. Suddenly there is this distinct pungent smell. The kinda smell which "grows stronger with time and eventually knocks you out" kinda smell. Everyone stared at Birds butt With pieces of cloth on our nose, we started hunting down the smell before it killed us. Eventually we zeroed down on Pals shoes. Off they went into the trash can. To make matters worse, Pals kept laughing for half an hour. I was so sure this trip was gonna be one helluva experience.

I'll skip the part where ghosts chased us and we had 20 plates of butter chicken. But the next day, we decided to explore the local attractions. One such attraction was a group of village kids playing cricket^wiki. The typical maharastrian ghat types. As we walked towards them they all ran to us, looked at Bird and said "Our father has returned". What followed next was a cricket match between the nanguys and local ghats. Bird was a neutral umpire.

I should let you all know, Matheran is infested with Monkeys. Red and Black mouth baboons. They are all over. Following you all the time. There have been times when they have attacked humans and a monkey bite could be pretty dangerous. And as the norm goes, our ancestors hung around our cottage too. You could see them chase each other all the time and they did bear a striking resemblance to Pals.

One fine morning Bakshi decides to have tea in the Veranda. So we have Bakshi with tea and a room with an open door. In the room we have Farro and Abbs, half asleep and half naked, brushing each others teeth. Bird and Pals are in the other room. One of the monkeys decides to make it his morning business to check out our room. So he casually walks past a stunned Bakshi, who has forgotten about is tea and is too shocked by the mammal. Abbs and Farro turn around to hear Bakshi shouting "Sh**, Sh**" and see the visual of a monkey enter the room. Now, this monkey had to be a lady. She heads straight for a shopping bag, which contains Bakshi's valuables. A paranoid Bakshi closes the room door. So now we have Bakshi outside the room, a monkey with a shopping bag inside the room, with a half naked, but fully awake Abbs and farro, toothbrush in hand, toothpaste foam in mouth.

Miss Monkey jumps onto one bed, leaps to the next one and shows her teeth to Farro and Abbs. "Should we brush her teeth too?", asks Farro. Complete havoc breaks loose. Two half naked guys and a she-monkey with a shopping bag. Running all over the room. You think this could not get any funnier? Wrong. Bakshi is outside. Abbs and Farro are in this room with the monkey. Pals and Bird are in the other room. Realize who is missing? This is when I decide to walk out of the bathroom, all wrapped in a towel to be greeted by the sight of two toothpaste spitting homosapiens chased by a monkey with a Shoppers Stop bag. There is a momentary pause, where all three stop and stare at me. And the circus continues. Only this time, I am the clown.

The monkey settles itself on one bed while the three of us wonder what next. Bird and Pals are next. In walk the two cartoons, from the connecting door. All shocked to find three half naked guys and a monkey. Bird walks to the monkey, who drops the bag, and unzips his pants. The monkey decides to run into the open bathroom door and Pals in a split second locks the door.

While in there, she decided to make herself at home and pee all over the place. We did manage to shoo the monkey out and Bird managed to convince her to return Bakshi's valuables. The bathroom was a stinky mess (its debatable if that was due to the monkey or the one who used the bathroom last?)

Nevertheless, this is one Nanguy incident which ranks right up there. You know, the one we would talk about everytime we meet even when we are 80.

Above, you would find a photograph taken during the Matheran trip of '99. Top row is myself, trying to kill the man who will take over Wills factory one day and currently responsible for the "monkey-boom" in Matheran. Standing besides me is Farro, who would win Gladrags and go on to represent India for Mr. World (and make Nanguys proud). Abbs, trying to screw two imaginary light bulbs (rumours say he invented electricity in Matheran), and eventual co-founder of indiaCode, and Pals, rubbing Abbs thigh, and current spiritual guru, IBM consultant and apparently first Indian to float in the air. Its been a long journey. Cheers to the Summer of '99, Monkeys and Old Monk Rum.