Laundry Insanity

I usually try not to post random observations about doing laundry or talking to the washing machine on the pretext that most people would not find it sane. But at 4 in the morning, the creative juices are flowing in that direction. So the topic of todays post: Laundry Machines are insane.

Now, people would refute that claim. And I would partially agree. At least the machines are sane enough not to root for the Baltimore Ravens, which makes me believe their anti-masochist synapses are firing.

The area where I live, in addition to playing loud music, busting people for having parties, attempting to climb down the fire escape, walking too fast, going to the bathroom too noisily and using the garbage disposal to dispose off gangstas without first asking permission also has the crappiest, partially functional, largest collection of laundry machines.

Last night I planned to get my laundry done. Well, I had to do laundry, so I said, "Lets do laundry". Fine. Call me impulsive. So about 11 PM I find myself at the laundromat, hoping to finish by 12:30 AM, sorting by 1 AM. But like it would happen, my dear friend decided to stop by at the laundromat. He is popularly known as Murphy.

Let me rewind a bit in time and give due credit to all characters who would play an important role in this drama. As I enter the mat (come on, I cant type L A U N D R O M A T all the time), I see this big fat lady, sitting behind the cashiers counter, chewing on a greasy burger, fries and XXL coke. She is watching some drama on TV, and acknowledges my presence with a nod, her eyes focussed on the TV. As I walk up to get quarters, she say, "That machine take only 20's", her eyes, still focussed on the screen.

Random Picture thrown in to wake up all males who were dozing off

Sadly, my hopes of saying good night by 1 AM were dashed like an 18 wheeler hitting an auto rickshaw. First, a washer malfunctioned. It decided to fill up and drain off, without taking a spin-o-tumble. The next washer seemed to be a distant cousin of the first one. Not only did it refuse to spin, but it refused to completely drain out leaving me with a pile of dirty wet clothes and drenching what I was wearing.

This is when the big fat lady let go of her greasydonald burger and fries, got a mop and dried the floor, her eyes still trained on the TV.

The annoying thing about side-load washers is there is no way to stop them once they start. If you realize within 5 minutes that something is gone awry, you have to wait till they are done the entire wash. So two broken machines and 90 minutes later, I finally got to one machine which was different from the rest of the family. This one did actually work, but by this time I was out of quarters and the machine which took 20's seemed to be in the same state as me. So very soon, I found myself with a greasy burger and $16 worth of change. For those of you who have not been able to comprehend, I did not buy the fat ladys half eaten burger for $4, but I walked up to the nearest eatery and bought a burger.

If that had been the end of it, I would have still considered it a good day (by general standards). But as you would have guessed, the first dryer I used malfunctioned. What really pissed me off was it seemed to work fine for the first 10 minutes as I stood there looking for any signs of deviance. From what I could tell, it stopped working the moment I stepped away. Fortunately I discovered of this failure in about 50 minutes, compared to the regular one hour. But I still have to transfer the load into another machine and wait.

To end it, I was done by 3, sorting and folding by 4. And if I sleep now, I will never get up to work in time. So I rather just type up this post, play rise of nations and bore the crap outta the first person who unblocks me on their messenger list!

Meantime, remember. Washing machines are insane. Dont marry one.