Friday, January 06, 2006

Apoorva Zeitgeist

Google has a Zeitgeist. To explain it to the common man, they list the most searched/queried terms (in descending order).

Here is the Apoorva Zeitgeist. The most common words I have heard since arriving in Mumbai

  1. When did you come?
  2. Are you getting married?
  3. How long are you here?
  4. Your hair seems to have grown back.
  5. Whats your salary?
  6. What did you get for me?
  7. Howz your sex life?
  8. You have lost hair.
  9. Nice shoes.
  10. No, I will not marry you!

There have been variations to No. 2 in terms of:
"I know this girl...."
"I know this family...."
"Look, GIRL!"
"Beta, you are 26...."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe we can add the Reflection (dialog) that happens when viewed from you-know-where to this list

11. Why does it get so bright in here
My eyes hurt
Look ma, two moons

January 06, 2006 6:33 AM  
Blogger Debalina said...

Looks like soon you'll be renamed as Marry-App [as in MarryAnn] .

January 06, 2006 7:29 AM  
Blogger couchpotato said...

:lol: You're 26, Apoo! Get MARRIED! :))

January 06, 2006 8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Na I dont thing he is going to get married so soon ....he has to 2 star in the sequel to 40 year old ....bhargin…

January 06, 2006 9:07 AM  
Blogger Anita Pillai said...

40 year old that's a GOOD ONE..ha ha!!

January 06, 2006 10:29 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

10. No, I will not marry you

ahem? Exactly how many women did you pose the obvious question to for it to have made your most queried list?

26, you kidding, marriage should be furthest on your mind, chill and have fun, you are a baby :)

January 06, 2006 11:12 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Have you observed that people are not pointing in any direction on Zeitgeist #3!? Especially, if the fairer sex is asking you that question!

[I know, there is a special place in heaven for people like me, who provide different perspectives. :-) ]

January 06, 2006 6:19 PM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz said...

enjoy mumbai man! forget the rest!

January 06, 2006 10:13 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

my, my, my i didnt think u'd actually put my answer up there!
fellow readers, i might as well tell u all now, no.10 was my reply.
*nods gravely*

menagerie i get that question from him EVERYDAY. there is simply no rest for the weary.

give it up apee :P

January 07, 2006 1:17 AM  
Blogger IdeaSmith said...

Lol, shouldn't the list of variations include "So you're here to meet...?"

Mahi, let him do the chasing. Once you say yes, off he'll go chasing someone else....just like a man. *spoken from experience*

January 07, 2006 1:30 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

smithy..i SO know what u mean...stupid men. stupid apoo.
you'll never get a 'yes' from me :@:@:@!!!!

January 08, 2006 1:03 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Mahi: I dont want a yes from you!
I am more than Happy with and loyal to the 'office lady'.

So please read this blog with only platonic thoughts in your mind!

January 08, 2006 4:30 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

ho ho ho! humor karo cho??
YOURE the one with filthy thoughts :@

January 08, 2006 8:58 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

Mahi - I can beleive that, poor you. Continuous onslaught from Apoo...

Apoo - Sour grapes huh? Just coz she said 'no', you claim you don't want her to say yes...

January 08, 2006 2:10 PM  
Blogger Medha.. said...

So if No. 10 wasnt Mahi's reply...then whos was it, Apoo???

Who did u go around proposing in Mumbai????

January 08, 2006 11:29 PM  
Blogger IdeaSmith said...

Certainly not me, though he did bring me chocolates. Who, indeed, Apoo?

January 09, 2006 4:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Think these are the top 20 things you would do:

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays duo such so that Appu doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead of saying "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time Appu steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".

4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which Appu traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

January 09, 2006 9:39 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

anonymous: you should have this as a post... it was hilarious... and you forgot to add... pronounce pizzas as PEEETZAAAS...

apoo: forget about other people's search criterias? what about you... what is your search criteria for women in mumbai? you didnt let us know anything about that... and how was that trip of yours to CHINCHPOKHLI where you were supposed to meet some woman named AHILYABAI PARKARWARKAR... is she good looking? has she accepted your proposal? does she wear stilletoes?

enlighten the others with the details of "that" meeting!!!

January 10, 2006 12:59 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

who's anonymous??
apoo do u really do all that?!!? ahahaha you're such a cartoon!

iyer..what meeting is this?? :O
apoo you've been holding back from us!
tell tell do tell

January 10, 2006 3:56 AM  
Blogger Sensorcaine said...

Hmm.. I'm compelled to add to anon's list:
When giving directions, it's always '3 blocks due north'... and never 'take the right after 3 buildings...'
north? i mean i'm asking for directions here... whatever makes you think I'm equipped with a compass???

January 10, 2006 4:39 AM  
Blogger memphis said...

yes apoo, u must tell us bout ur pune trip too. Did u meet Sunita Rane there?

January 10, 2006 6:35 AM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz said...

pune?sunita? :O

January 10, 2006 8:24 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

If Appoo is meeting Sunita Rane in Pune, who was the chick he was sitting with in Bombay Blues cafe at Shoppers' Stop? He told me that was Sunita Rane.

January 10, 2006 11:31 PM  
Blogger iyer education said...

and who the hell is AHILYABAI PARKARWARKAR?

he told me he was going to meet her... and that too at CHINCHPOKHLI...

apoo where exactly are you?

January 11, 2006 12:45 AM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

hey welcome to Paradise:P

January 11, 2006 1:46 AM  
Blogger garfy said...

My goodness, I have missed a lot here. You're in bombay? You are 26? :| you have simultaneously grown and lost hair? :| Thats a first! >:)

January 11, 2006 10:52 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

U guys got all the names mixed up. Its Pushpanjali Kirloskar.

#Bird: U need to drink. Dont miss the next T-Top booze session, else u start hallucinating about me and women and Shoppers Stop.

#Anon: They bugged u on all those 21 points when you were here, didnt they?

#Mahi: get back to studying.

#Medha: I was just checking how attentive you were when you read my posts. Point 10 was made up. U know after u accepted, I have stopped proposing!

#Garfy: Yes. 26. In Mumbai. Looking to get married. U have a phone number?

#Iyer: This PARKARWARKAR sounds interesting tho! What say we talk about her over some glasses of alcohol?

January 11, 2006 2:53 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

u can stop trying to annoy me about the studying actually ENJOYING studying and its only the first week of uni!

so ha! try harder.

January 11, 2006 10:49 PM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

Alas, my comment was not worthy of a reply from the supposed eligible bachelor apoo....

I have been officially blown off, shame on you :p

January 11, 2006 10:55 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Menagerie: For you, there is special treatment.... not to be shown in the comments. After all, I need that place to pile on during F1. :P

January 12, 2006 4:03 AM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

Wah wah... congratulations.
So.... when are you getting married? :D

January 12, 2006 11:08 AM  

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