Thursday, March 09, 2006

Presenting That Special Someone....

I had promised that post on someone special. Here goes:

Note: Excuse the length of this post.

Q) Your first memory?
From what I remember, entering into the Joshi family when I was about 10 days old (and Mom saying I am smarter than Apoorva - which frankly is not saying much). I used to get big time pampered when I was spoon fed by Mom. Only the food was yuck. Some weird mix of crushed 'chana' and water. Lady, just bring on the Bacardi n Chilis!!

Q) Your biggest trauma?
Oh, dont ask, everyone was under the false impression I was male. Its even better than the Michael Jackson saga. Yeah, us Joshis are funny. I thought if I get friendly with the mankind and attack the womankind, they would guess I am female. So I ended up being best buddies with Apoorva and bit Mom all the time. But still, they named me Sunny, not Shonali. It took them two years to figure out I am female. Sheesh! Look! No pee-pee! Its that simple!

Q) But you still carried on with the name Sunny?
Yes. Many people do that. Heard of Karan Johar, Manish Malhotra? You think they are male?

Q) Whats the corniest thing you have done?
When I was a kid and relatively friendly, Apoorva used to walk up and kiss me a couple of times in the day... and make those disgusting kissing sounds. (No, no, this is just like how a Bro would lovingly kiss his sis, but to imagine Apoorva kissing anyone is disgusting. If his girlfriend/wife ever reads this - dear, I feel your trauma). Being the talking parrot that I am, I learnt those kissing sounds and now repeat them when anyone enters home. Sometimes, some of Apoorvas girlfriends get freaked out when they hear, "Muah baby, Muah Muah. Gimme a kiss baby, Muah! Muaaahhh" and some say "Howww Cutttteeee" and come close enough for me to draw blood. He he he! I am evil.

Madame, one quick photo please. Will you pose?



- Click -

~ Sunny gives his (umm, her) "I am on the bed" seductive pose. ~




Q) The person you admire the most? And why?
Dad. It used to be Apoorva till he broke my heart by leaving for USA and having an affair without my knowledge. Also, as I grew up, I realised its Dad who earns enough to make the bread and butter. Apoorva still borrows money from Dad. And since I know Dad reads this blog, I have to say Dad. Right now, I am in a default mode of bite everyone but Dad. Oh well, after all he is a handsome man! I just cuddle up to him and let him pet me.



View this clip on Vimeo
Dad Petting Sunny




Q) How can one get in your good books?

Well, one thing I love is food. And drinks. Runs in the Joshi family.

Q) And to pamper you one must....
Always add ghee to the dal-rice. Else I will not eat it. Dont give me stale chapatis. The coffee must have sugar. Feed me the coffee, dont just leave it in my tray. Any kind of dry fruits are welcome. Dont make noise when I sleep. And yeah, Champagne is good. But only Apoorva gives me that.... and its supposed to be a secret between him n me. So Shhhh....

Q) The most evil thing you have done?
Oh! How can I name one? Lets see.... bit all of Apoorva's girlfriends. Ok, I am the jealous kinds. The poor guy used to think something is wrong with him. That everytime he got a girl into his room, she dumped him. Little did he know that when he visited the loo, I scared the bitch away. Its simple. Act all cute, and take advantage of the fact I am a talking parrot. Say silly stuff to her like, "Cutie, both of us like chilis, dont we?" (pun intended) and while she goes, "Oh, you naughty, naughty boy" and dreams of raising Apoorvas kids.... bite her fingers and shatter her dreams. He he he! Then lets see.....

- Uh, we dont have that much time so I would move onto the next....

Shut Up, u freaking jackass. I dont need no questions. Now stick your thumb up your mouth and listen to me.

Being a talking parrot, I am aware you guys wanna know what I can say. Here goes:

Apoorva (thats the first word I learnt and for a long time I thought it was my name. I was so happy when I realized its not.)
Apoorva good boy (I can lie sometimes)
Apoorva, wake up! (yeah, the lazy bum)
Mom, stop freaking out! (Apoorva taught me that)
Dad, where is the coffee? (I need my morning dose of coffee)
Uncle, where is Aunty?
Hey Grandmom, good morning!
Ganpatibappa, Moriyaa (I am religious... actually they say that so many times in the festival, I had to pick it up!)
Hello Auntie. (Translates to - do u know any hot parrots?)
Stop shouting! Why the hell are you shouting? (they used to say the same to me.... I just picked it up and now say it back to them)
Gimme a kiss (followed by kissing noises)
What happened? Why are you shouting?
Sunny is the sweetest (I am a Narcissist - gives Madame Mahima a stare)
Mithoo Mithoo Popat.

Other random things that I do:
If you cough, I will imitate your coughing.
If you sneeze, I will imitate your sneezing.
If you laugh, I will imitate your laughter.
If you come too close, I will poop on you.
If you come even closer, I will bite you.
I can turn my head by almost 360 degrees.


I cant fly for nuts. Its like one of those cartoons. I can take off, but dont know when to stop. so I go straight into a wall and fall down. Thats my style for landing.

Once a dog chased me. I made so much noise that he got scared and ran away.

Once Bird mentioned I could be mascot for Nanguys (since I am a noise producing machine). I would gladly take on that honor for a lifetime supply of chillis. (And the Nanguys should stop harassing Bird, I think he is nice feathered friend - Bird, next time they harass you, poop on them or bite em fella!)

Many a time I have substituted for Apoo's alarm clock. Only, I dont come with a snooze button!

And thats enough, now I return to the cage for my night nap. I will be back in the morning if you guys have any questions in the form of comments. I shall answer them honestly but please dont ask stuff like if I have ever seen Apoo naked!



View this clip on Vimeo



*** Comments from the Author ***

Since 1988 this chap is been around like a bro (or sis, or wateva). Every engineering exam when I am burning the midnight oil, this feathered pal is around, looking at me, wondering why I am going insane. His look almost says, "Leave the books alone and come pet me!" After a while he got fed up of my late nights and started squawking away at 1 AM if I dont shut off the lights.

An interesting incident of note was when we kept his favorite food in one corner, and I held my finger out (in the bite my finger stance) in the other corner. Sunny looked at both corners a few times, gave a confused look. Thought for a while and then charged towards me to draw blood! With him around, I dont miss having a younger sister!

Once he ran under the cupboard and came out engulfed in dirt, looking all confused. The maid was horrified that her dust hiding spot had been revealed. We had a new maid very soon, an once again Mom said, "Sunny has more brains than Apoorva"

Sunny turns 18 today (10th March). Apart from looking for corrupt RTO officials who can give him a license to chauffeur my Dad around (I think he could drive a car), we are looking for a suitable match. So if you know any eligible parrots, with loads of chillis and gauvas in dowry, direct them Sunny's way. If you know any eligible females, direct them the authors way.

31 Comments:

Blogger iyer education said...

happy budday to mithoo... thats more indian than sunny... ekdam dhammal post hai bhai...

March 09, 2006 11:10 PM  
Blogger abhi said...

awesome ode to sunny .... a very happy birthday to sonny

March 09, 2006 11:15 PM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz said...

aww cutie pie .... huppy budday sunny....:)

March 09, 2006 11:41 PM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Sunny is a 'female', right!? You said, '...and gauvas in dowry...', unless they have changed the horrible custome of dowry. OR Sunny's just happy n gay!

March 10, 2006 12:29 AM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

this bird never got cooked in iyer's curry:D im happy!!

March 10, 2006 1:12 AM  
Blogger memphis said...

Happy birthday to Sunny and i think we have a perfect match for sunny! That is if u ok with getting sunny hooked to someone whos not a parrot.

March 10, 2006 1:37 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

lord: you are referring to the wrong persons... i dont cook kebabs made out of exquisite creatures... thats apoo's forte...

apoo: now i understand why you once said "no parakeets man... no parakeets"

March 10, 2006 3:01 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

What is the difference between a parrot & a parakeet?

(For Paro Only: Do not say "the spelling")

March 10, 2006 3:13 AM  
Blogger anjali* said...

Wow. I didn't know parrots can live so long. Happy Bday, Sunny!

March 10, 2006 6:02 AM  
Blogger infected said...

I'm going to propose something that's going to get me murdered.

Sunny's 18 now. Legally marriagable age.

Bird + Sunny ...

THEY'RE OF THE SAME SPECIES ...

I'm outta here ...

March 10, 2006 8:20 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

No Paro ... no Bird for Sunny ... it's a complete mismatch ...

have some respite for poor Sunny ...

March 10, 2006 8:59 AM  
Blogger abhi said...

i meant Alap ...

and no .. Alap does not equal Paro

March 10, 2006 9:00 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Iyer/Abhi/Demi: Thank You! :)

#Brad: Things work differently in Birdland

#LOAT: This Bird is a smart one...

#Paro: Thanks... but when you say not a parrot, do U mean the Bird of all Birds?

#Bird: You should know about your kinds man. A parakeet is a type of parrot, but of a smaller size. Thats what I think...

#Anjali: Yup, they do live long (touchwood). Apparently Sunny should be playing with my kids too.

#Alap: Not good to get drunk and comment on my blog. Not good!

#Abhi: Well, sunny wont care as long as Bird can provide him a lifetime supply of chillis and gauvas. But Bird is too stingy for that. Altho' to leave Bird and Sunny alone for a few days would be good fun.... Sunny might just cure him!

March 10, 2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

yes im sure apoo! i mean bird cudnt say things like,"Apoorva good boy and Gimme a kiss" could he under any circumstances?? sunny is smart!!

March 11, 2006 12:50 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

Haha, such a cutie...and I did mean Sunny and not the narcissist author :)

Happy birthday Sunny!! {makes kissing sound }

March 11, 2006 2:20 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

hahahaha tooo cute man!

can u please start treating sunny like a girl? the poor thing is agitated all the time coz he has gender identity issues...its affecting his self esteem and hes acting out by biting people.
trust me. im a psychologist.

poor sunny
can she really say all that stuff?
and u perv...stop making yucky noises in front of ure parrot! god knows what else u make that parrot do...

and as for sunny being smarter than u...
ha. good one.
FYI everyones smarter than u..even KELSO.

March 12, 2006 12:29 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

* i meant SHE has gender identity issues and its affecting HER self esteem and SHES acting out..

shit.
damn u!!!

March 12, 2006 12:30 AM  
Blogger Medha.. said...

Damn cute post!

Happy birthday to Sunny! :)

March 12, 2006 7:37 AM  
Anonymous garfy said...

*gasp*

Your parrot picked up disgusting kissing sounds from you? Is this what things have come to now? *tsk tsk*

Will Sunny spill beans about the affair? :)

And wimmen who dreamt about raising your kids deserved to be bit anyhow!
:P

Happy budday parrot! Looking forward to Sunny's posts!

March 12, 2006 12:35 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

Very Happy birthday Sunny. Brilliant post - does your pet have the same sense of humor? and i had no idea parrots live this long.

March 12, 2006 12:55 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#LOAT: I never want Bird to say stuff like that. NEVER! To me or to anyone else for that matter!

#Mahi: I thought u were a psychologist for humans. Didnt know I was wrong... so u deal in animals eh? Phew, I feel better now! Explains your weird behavior!

#Medha: Thanks!

#Garfy: Wimmen who dream of raising my kids deserve to be bit. Agreed. But not by sunny ;)

#Dreamcatcher: Thank You. And he has a better sense of humour. If you are in Mumbai, drop by the find out!

March 12, 2006 4:23 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Menagerie: (Sorry, missed you above) Sunny says thank you (but trust me, u dun wanna kiss him, unless u dont like your lips too much).
And the author is cuter!! Dammit!

March 12, 2006 4:43 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

human psychology can be applied to animals too FYI :@ which is why im constantly psychoanalysing u!
U ANIMAL!

March 12, 2006 10:10 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

haappyyy b'day sunnnyyy

email me the videos pls. cannot view VIMEO as it is blockd here

:-))

KJ

March 13, 2006 7:26 AM  
Anonymous garfy said...

Yeah rite :P IF those mugshots of yours reflect reality, only Sunny has a chance at the biting bit :P

Ahem.... include me in the mailing list for the videos too... Blocked by Etisalat! :(


PS: GO MAHI GO!

March 13, 2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Mahi: If thats the case, we all must say you are doing a very poor job. U have a long way to go before you turn into a decent psychoanalyst. But yeah, take off the analyst part, and I think you are doing really well!

#KJ: Thanks, and will mail it to you.

#Garfy: How do I get your email?? U have conveniently deleted your blog and left any clues which would lead us to you. :@

And you are not allowed to root for OTHER PEOPLE on MY blog!

March 13, 2006 8:41 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Sunny is a cutie.

I am confident s/he he wont bite me.

And I think Madame Mahima is right. Stop treating the poor soul as a male. That gets her agitated. How would you feel if every lady you met offered you make up tips and nail polish? Wouldnt it agitate you after a while?

I second Garfy. GO MAHI, I am with ya!

March 13, 2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger Sonia said...

videos blocked by etisalat! :o( dunno why though! who wud find a bird erotic? other than other birds of course! Etisalat must think the birds here are awful perverts!

but sunny seems like an awful cute gal! :o)

March 14, 2006 3:43 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Nicole: Why dont we test that biting theory? (Notice, I never said with Sunny or with me!)

#Sonia: I think its got something to do with the site. Since people can post videos on it, some of them could be erotic, so block the site. I dont think its anything to do with blocking a specific video.
And yes, Sunny can do an erotic dance at times!

March 14, 2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

HAPPY HOLI

:-))

KJ

March 15, 2006 2:32 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Happy bday to Sunny :)
Great post.

March 19, 2006 5:54 AM  

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