Presenting That Special Someone....

I had promised that post on someone special. Here goes:

Note: Excuse the length of this post.

Q) Your first memory?
From what I remember, entering into the Joshi family when I was about 10 days old (and Mom saying I am smarter than Apoorva - which frankly is not saying much). I used to get big time pampered when I was spoon fed by Mom. Only the food was yuck. Some weird mix of crushed 'chana' and water. Lady, just bring on the Bacardi n Chilis!!

Q) Your biggest trauma?
Oh, dont ask, everyone was under the false impression I was male. Its even better than the Michael Jackson saga. Yeah, us Joshis are funny. I thought if I get friendly with the mankind and attack the womankind, they would guess I am female. So I ended up being best buddies with Apoorva and bit Mom all the time. But still, they named me Sunny, not Shonali. It took them two years to figure out I am female. Sheesh! Look! No pee-pee! Its that simple!

Q) But you still carried on with the name Sunny?
Yes. Many people do that. Heard of Karan Johar, Manish Malhotra? You think they are male?

Q) Whats the corniest thing you have done?
When I was a kid and relatively friendly, Apoorva used to walk up and kiss me a couple of times in the day... and make those disgusting kissing sounds. (No, no, this is just like how a Bro would lovingly kiss his sis, but to imagine Apoorva kissing anyone is disgusting. If his girlfriend/wife ever reads this - dear, I feel your trauma). Being the talking parrot that I am, I learnt those kissing sounds and now repeat them when anyone enters home. Sometimes, some of Apoorvas girlfriends get freaked out when they hear, "Muah baby, Muah Muah. Gimme a kiss baby, Muah! Muaaahhh" and some say "Howww Cutttteeee" and come close enough for me to draw blood. He he he! I am evil.

Madame, one quick photo please. Will you pose?



- Click -

~ Sunny gives his (umm, her) "I am on the bed" seductive pose. ~

Q) The person you admire the most? And why?
Dad. It used to be Apoorva till he broke my heart by leaving for USA and having an affair without my knowledge. Also, as I grew up, I realised its Dad who earns enough to make the bread and butter. Apoorva still borrows money from Dad. And since I know Dad reads this blog, I have to say Dad. Right now, I am in a default mode of bite everyone but Dad. Oh well, after all he is a handsome man! I just cuddle up to him and let him pet me.

View this clip on Vimeo
Dad Petting Sunny

Q) How can one get in your good books?
Well, one thing I love is food. And drinks. Runs in the Joshi family.

Q) And to pamper you one must....
Always add ghee to the dal-rice. Else I will not eat it. Dont give me stale chapatis. The coffee must have sugar. Feed me the coffee, dont just leave it in my tray. Any kind of dry fruits are welcome. Dont make noise when I sleep. And yeah, Champagne is good. But only Apoorva gives me that.... and its supposed to be a secret between him n me. So Shhhh....

Q) The most evil thing you have done?
Oh! How can I name one? Lets see.... bit all of Apoorva's girlfriends. Ok, I am the jealous kinds. The poor guy used to think something is wrong with him. That everytime he got a girl into his room, she dumped him. Little did he know that when he visited the loo, I scared the bitch away. Its simple. Act all cute, and take advantage of the fact I am a talking parrot. Say silly stuff to her like, "Cutie, both of us like chilis, dont we?" (pun intended) and while she goes, "Oh, you naughty, naughty boy" and dreams of raising Apoorvas kids.... bite her fingers and shatter her dreams. He he he! Then lets see.....

- Uh, we dont have that much time so I would move onto the next....

Shut Up, u freaking jackass. I dont need no questions. Now stick your thumb up your mouth and listen to me.

Being a talking parrot, I am aware you guys wanna know what I can say. Here goes:

Apoorva (thats the first word I learnt and for a long time I thought it was my name. I was so happy when I realized its not.)
Apoorva good boy (I can lie sometimes)
Apoorva, wake up! (yeah, the lazy bum)
Mom, stop freaking out! (Apoorva taught me that)
Dad, where is the coffee? (I need my morning dose of coffee)
Uncle, where is Aunty?
Hey Grandmom, good morning!
Ganpatibappa, Moriyaa (I am religious... actually they say that so many times in the festival, I had to pick it up!)
Hello Auntie. (Translates to - do u know any hot parrots?)
Stop shouting! Why the hell are you shouting? (they used to say the same to me.... I just picked it up and now say it back to them)
Gimme a kiss (followed by kissing noises)
What happened? Why are you shouting?
Sunny is the sweetest (I am a Narcissist - gives Madame Mahima a stare)
Mithoo Mithoo Popat.

Other random things that I do:
If you cough, I will imitate your coughing.
If you sneeze, I will imitate your sneezing.
If you laugh, I will imitate your laughter.
If you come too close, I will poop on you.
If you come even closer, I will bite you.
I can turn my head by almost 360 degrees.

I cant fly for nuts. Its like one of those cartoons. I can take off, but dont know when to stop. so I go straight into a wall and fall down. Thats my style for landing.

Once a dog chased me. I made so much noise that he got scared and ran away.

Once Bird mentioned I could be mascot for Nanguys (since I am a noise producing machine). I would gladly take on that honor for a lifetime supply of chillis. (And the Nanguys should stop harassing Bird, I think he is nice feathered friend - Bird, next time they harass you, poop on them or bite em fella!)

Many a time I have substituted for Apoo's alarm clock. Only, I dont come with a snooze button!

And thats enough, now I return to the cage for my night nap. I will be back in the morning if you guys have any questions in the form of comments. I shall answer them honestly but please dont ask stuff like if I have ever seen Apoo naked!

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*** Comments from the Author ***

Since 1988 this chap is been around like a bro (or sis, or wateva). Every engineering exam when I am burning the midnight oil, this feathered pal is around, looking at me, wondering why I am going insane. His look almost says, "Leave the books alone and come pet me!" After a while he got fed up of my late nights and started squawking away at 1 AM if I dont shut off the lights.

An interesting incident of note was when we kept his favorite food in one corner, and I held my finger out (in the bite my finger stance) in the other corner. Sunny looked at both corners a few times, gave a confused look. Thought for a while and then charged towards me to draw blood! With him around, I dont miss having a younger sister!

Once he ran under the cupboard and came out engulfed in dirt, looking all confused. The maid was horrified that her dust hiding spot had been revealed. We had a new maid very soon, an once again Mom said, "Sunny has more brains than Apoorva"

Sunny turns 18 today (10th March). Apart from looking for corrupt RTO officials who can give him a license to chauffeur my Dad around (I think he could drive a car), we are looking for a suitable match. So if you know any eligible parrots, with loads of chillis and gauvas in dowry, direct them Sunny's way. If you know any eligible females, direct them the authors way.