Monday, February 20, 2006

How To Get Fired

#356237

Like once in a blue moon, after a comeplete organization restructuring, some hot shot hob-nob guy will walk up, pull up a power point chart with millions of round circles, with each circle having a name in them and arrows moving towards or away from that circle to other circles.

Today was such a day at work. Head honcho walks in and due to the recent hires and fires pulls up a PPT presentation showing names of people I know (and dont know), in a heirarchical manner. Programmer, reporting to Lead Programmer, reporting to Manager, who reports to Director who reports to VP. Humm, you know the triangle.

Well, the perfect triangle. Till I came into the picture. Looming out of nowhere, far away from this perfect triangle stood this circle with moi's name in it. And from the circle came out like a million arrows heading to every other circle (well, almost every other circle). Director, manager, office assistant, IT, facilities. You name it.

"He he! Apoorva, your role has become so undefined that this turned out to be ideal."

"Thats fine Bill. But all these arrows... it mean I report to all these people or all these people report to me?"

17 Comments:

Blogger iyer education said...

do you plan to put the answers in the next post or are your office guys confused about if the people report to you or you are supposed to report to them... but i guess the director and ceo reporting to you must be fun... and where did MDE figure out in that circle... i am sure she must have had a small circle inside the big circle ;)

February 20, 2006 11:38 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Yeah, so do u report to them or do they report to you?

February 21, 2006 1:17 AM  
Blogger IdeaSmith said...

Aha...so the management consultants have come a-visiting have they?

February 21, 2006 1:59 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Trust me, that's a tad better than, somebody askin' me, 'Brad, seriously man, what's your designation?' I don't even know what to say to that. Either these people have no clue about my contribution to the org, or mebbe my contribution is so insignificant, that they don't know how to designate that! I am goin' with, 'I do so many things, that it is getting difficult for them to assign a designation.' So, seconding Kelly, what do those arrows mean. Are you screwing them or they gonna be screwing you!?

February 21, 2006 2:28 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Come to think of it, why is the post titled, 'How to get fired' !? Hopefully, you didn't get the pink slip!!

February 21, 2006 2:30 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

i dont get it.

you're, like, SO weird. :P

February 21, 2006 4:26 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

hee hee uve put up ure sharabi pic

sneaky apee!

February 21, 2006 5:14 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

what pic man! you look like a major devdas, who has just been fired ;)

hehe, just saw ur msn nick, choo chweet :P

February 21, 2006 8:24 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Iyer: Yes, having CEO and SVP report to me would be fun! DOnno for whom tho!

#Kelly: Still trying to figure that out. I think mostly they should report to me ;)

#Brad: No. No pink slip. Not yet!

#Mahi: Perhaps you are weird, which is why you dont get it!
Sharabi pic? Eh? Thats my 'young, dashing handsome Kishen Kumar' kinda pic!

#Menagerie: No choo chweet. I am dashing and handsome! No chweet bweet!

February 21, 2006 8:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

:S wasnt kishen kumar some flop hero?

February 22, 2006 9:36 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Mahi: Come on. His movie got raked in a lotta money. Sanam Bewafa was it? He had looks to die for!!! Update yourself girl!

February 22, 2006 6:20 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

if i cant remember the movie means it was a flop
u flopstar!!!!

February 23, 2006 2:33 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

mahi & apoo: please settle all your difference of opinions within yourselves and please do not degrade the name of the "one eyebrowed superstar" kishen kumar...

i have already gone through the trauma of my "idol" silk smitha's name being flung on this blog... now i dont want the god of bollywood kishen kumar to be vandalized here... pliss stop bothering him ;)

bore ho raha tha... is liye paka rah hoon... now let me run for some cover

February 23, 2006 3:13 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

FYI - Sanam Bewafa had Salman Khan and Kishan Kumar's movie was Bewafa Sanam !!

Hehe, Apoo - dashing and handsome, hehe!!!!

Kishan Kumar - looks to die for ..hehehe hehee

Man, you give me my weekly dose of laughter !

February 23, 2006 11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude its means you r everyones bitch ...right from accounts to Manger are going to ride yur...u knwo wht
-Amit

February 23, 2006 4:30 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Mahi: Having respect for Iyers sentiments, I shall not continue on this topic anymore. Jes, update yourself!

#Iyer: read above.

#menagerie: I have done my good deed for the day then.
And u know the movie name eh? U a fan of the young dashing handsome....

#amit: one track mind, sex track mind!

February 24, 2006 1:55 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima said...

thanks for the pakaoing iyer!

and iyer i didnt start flinging silksmithas name around!
i didnt even know who she was until apoo helpfully provided a google link to her.
damn you apoo.

apoo - UPDATE.

February 25, 2006 9:36 AM  

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