Theplas - An Entrepreneurial Idea

Despite being in Baltimore for over 2 years, this was the first time I was flying into the city as my port of entry. BWI being a huge domestic hub, but a not so huge international hub, my hopes were high of getting past immigration and security in quick time. All was good till security. Immigrations was a breeze, getting my bag was even easier but as we approached security, the nightmare began.

On flight, I had become pretty pally with this Italian guy and Indian girl. And as we walked towards security any example of racial profiling became very evident. The officer pulls the Indian girl and me aside, asks us to go left. Mr. Italiano happily walks through and is scott-free. As I look around, I find myself in a queue which contains Nigerians, Chinese and Indians. All waiting for their bags to be scanned, opened up, examined. Not a single European/American in that queue. The algorithm was simple. Indian, Chinese, Middle-Eastern, African - go left. Others, go home.

And so I stand in the line, a little annoyed. However in such times I can count on my Gujju tribesmen to provide some relief. In front of me was a pure blood Gujarati, probably flying first time into USA and he was being grilled by the security officer. First, he was asked to open his bag and every item examined. Halfway through this examination, this is how the conversation went.

Security: What plant is this?
Gujju: Its a broom.

Security officer wears latex gloves and picks up what in India we call a broom, made of long wooden twigs most commonly used to clean up toilets. Its used to scrub away dirt with water and many a time used by the Assam guys working at roadside Chinese food stalls to clean their frying pans.

Security (holding broom upright, wearing latex gloves): This is a broom?
Gujju: Yes. Special broom.

The officer took the broom aside, sprayed it with something. Then he carried it into a room, came out after a while and put it back in the bag. While he was gone, the Gujju turns around and says to his clan, "Gaanda chhe baddha.", a mild interpretation of which would be - "All these guys are stupid"

And while Mr. Gujju was being examined, I got pulled into an aisle parallel to his by another officer who ripped open my bags, asked me how much money I was carrying and why the hell was I coming to Baltimore. When I return from India, usually I am in no mood to cook for a few weeks, so my Mom always packs some food for me. This time I was in no mood to cook for a month, so I went overboard and asked for a 100 theplas to be packed. So our cook toiled for a day and we had 100 theplas (recipe) all packed in my bag. So when the officer opens my bag, he finds theplas all over.

Officer: Whats this?
Me: Indian bread. (for those unaware of theplas, they do not look like bread in any manner whatsoever, but are an awesome gujju dish)
Officer: Indian bread?
Me: Well, its called theplas (at this moment the Gujju man turned around and bared all his teeth), its not bread, its more like.... ummm....
Officer: Whats it made of?
Me: (I had no idea) Potatoes and ummm.... lettuce(?)
Officer: Does it have any meat?
(Gujju man gave a look of shock, another Gaanda chhe baddha look)
Me: Nope. This is a traditional dish. Pure vegetarian.
Office: Why are you carrying so many?
Me: The doctor has asked me to stay on a high carb diet for a month.

Somehow he seemed to buy it and let me go with a "Thank You for your patience".

However, this guy has given me a new entrepreneurial idea. Chicken theplas. Shrimp theplas. Lamb Theplas. Scallop Theplas. Boston Clam Chowder Theplas. Why not? When we can have chicken dosas? All the convert gujjus (I mean, gujjus who converted to non-veg) would love it. So do I have someone ready to go in for a partnership? You have my email address.

On a slightly different note, anyone come across any sort of profiling at US airports? I've flown into this country five times and this is the first time I was given a hard time. Or was it because I was flying British Airways?