Friday, July 27, 2007

Harry The Bloody Potter

So I walked out of a bar and saw these two witches pass by me. I turned around, went in again, had a few more drinks to clear my head and walked out to find a block surrounded by wizards and witches. Close to midnight, all lined up, to get into Barnes and Noble. Always remember when a Harry Potter book releases.

Why do they have a midnight release? That too of a book which is a favorite amongst kids. I dont see the logic. Kids line up from 7 PM and waste 5 hours in a line dressed up as a witch after which they end up with a copy of the book which they take home and read all night and end up sleeping all day to wake up at night and continue reading. Bookstores remain open all night long, that too a few weeks after we pledged to save electricity and go green!

I say a book release should be at noon. This way, kids will wake up at 5 AM and line up by 7 AM. Read the book all day and sleep at night. No one cares about our next generation as much as I do! And when someone walks out of a bar at midnight is not shocked to see witches walking by.

I also suggest you should have your entire list of co-workers online in a multi-player environment of Unreal Tournament. So when someone screws up, which results in your entire team sitting 12 hours a day, 7 days a week in a 4X4 cubicle, you at least have the pleasure of killing the person in the virtual world.

My friend Sharma, sometime ago, came up with one of his brilliant moments of realization. "If San Jose is pronounced San Hoze, as a Joshi, are you Apoorva Hozhi?"

Drink the hot herbal green tea in a transparent glass (preferably the kinds they serve beer in) at work. Everyone thinks you are having beer. Once you make it clear to everyone that it is green tea, and they laugh off how stupid they could be, start having beer!

Bally's swimming pool in the White Marsh - Baltimore area has a weird rule. Lifegaurds need a break for 10 mins. every hour. So the pool is closed from 10:50-11:00, 11:50-12:00 and so on. If you happen to be swimming, you have to vacate the pool area and return after 10 mins. Am I surrounded by dumb people, or am I the dumb one?

I think I have put on a lil too much weight. When I walk into Chipotle and ask for a Burrito Bol, the guy behind the counter always asks, "Two?". Off late my friends are laying bets on this.

And lastly, I seriously think Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears should be put in the same lock-up. And kept there. Forever.

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Blogger Sense said...

first off, I'd like to meet the parents who let their kids stand in line all night. Back in my days (better known to the world as the jurassic age)if I told My parents I wanted to stand all night in a queue, even if it was outside a book store, first they'd laugh their heads off. Then, on seeing my earnest little face, they'd say: " well, if you do well in school and you top your class, then we'll think about buying the book next term" And that was that. AND I would come away thinking I'd scored a major victory.

July 27, 2007 7:14 AM  
Blogger Dodo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

July 27, 2007 7:58 AM  
Blogger Dodo said...

The book relased at 6:45 am in India and I stood outside the store at 6:20 we in India are more sensible :) ( though personally i think the time difference between here and britan worked in our favour)
lindsay, paris and britney should be shipped to another dimension so that even news about them takes millions of light years to reach us. by then i'll be dead so i can't be bothered

July 27, 2007 8:00 AM  
Blogger Menagerie said...

Oye! No comments on Harry Potter!

Midnight release is a phenomenon, a passion and very cool I think!

Plus it was Friday night, so kids don't really need to do much on a Sat do they!

Plus withces and wizards walking during the day, is kinda weird, night time is the best time to line up dressed like you belong to the magical world of Potter!

Plus if the release date is July 21st, you think kids would be happy to wait until NOON to get the book, naah, 12.01 am is July 21st, they need the book then!

As you can see I can go on and on and on, so no more Harry Potter digs :p

July 27, 2007 11:45 AM  
Blogger ANJALI said...

What do you mean you don't get the logic? All this has to do with karma, the book was released at midnight at that specific date because J.K.Rowling got the astronomical signs that you were going to a bar on that night. So she just wanted to irritate the shit out of you, so that you can publisize her on your blog; albeit on a negative note. Ha.

And the green tea / beer idea is fantabulous! Which could only come from the genius mind of one Apoorva Hoshi.

July 27, 2007 8:44 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

#Sense: Why do you remind me of my childhood? You think our parents planned and plotted together?

#Dodo: 6:20 AM! Hah! You are one of those!!! The last I woke up before 7 AM was in 8th grade!

#Menagerie: Hmpf! You are a potter fan, aint you? Friday or not, all kids should be in bed by 10 PM! Period.

Anjali: try the green tea idea... I tell ya, it works! And it produces better output at work, since I firmly believe if one is drunk, one shall work better!

July 30, 2007 12:46 AM  
Blogger Medha said...

"The last I woke up before 7 AM was in 8th grade!"

Yeah, now you just go to sleep at 7 am!!! :P:P

July 30, 2007 7:10 AM  
Blogger DewdropDream said...

You send kids to bed at ten they'll react aggressively... half of them retain the habit and become ultra boring adults... the other half rebel soon as they can and stay up at odd hours just to prove a point... You evidently belong to the latter ... so do I :D So now we can lie awake at night and watch clouds change shapes... I rather like this club a lot :D

July 30, 2007 1:47 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

@Medha: Look who is talking! Heh!

@Dewdrop: Can you see clouds at nite? :S

August 02, 2007 12:14 AM  
Anonymous Deepak Jeswal said...

Yeah, they had a 'release' function of Harry Potter book in Agra. I mean... Harry Potter release function in AGRA!!!!!! Of all places! And by those 'govt types'!!!!

I guess, they thought all the middle ages and weird stuff and what alls described in the book (not that I have read any, just guessing) is actually a description of this city :P

On second thoughts, maybe i should pen a fantasy based in Agra, it would look the same... Hari Puttar Agra Ke Kheme Mein ... now that sounds more like an Indrajal comic title, though ;-))

August 03, 2007 3:10 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Too Late! Green Tea idea has already been implemented :P

September 16, 2007 11:49 AM  

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