Harry The Bloody Potter

So I walked out of a bar and saw these two witches pass by me. I turned around, went in again, had a few more drinks to clear my head and walked out to find a block surrounded by wizards and witches. Close to midnight, all lined up, to get into Barnes and Noble. Always remember when a Harry Potter book releases.

Why do they have a midnight release? That too of a book which is a favorite amongst kids. I dont see the logic. Kids line up from 7 PM and waste 5 hours in a line dressed up as a witch after which they end up with a copy of the book which they take home and read all night and end up sleeping all day to wake up at night and continue reading. Bookstores remain open all night long, that too a few weeks after we pledged to save electricity and go green!

I say a book release should be at noon. This way, kids will wake up at 5 AM and line up by 7 AM. Read the book all day and sleep at night. No one cares about our next generation as much as I do! And when someone walks out of a bar at midnight is not shocked to see witches walking by.

I also suggest you should have your entire list of co-workers online in a multi-player environment of Unreal Tournament. So when someone screws up, which results in your entire team sitting 12 hours a day, 7 days a week in a 4X4 cubicle, you at least have the pleasure of killing the person in the virtual world.

My friend Sharma, sometime ago, came up with one of his brilliant moments of realization. "If San Jose is pronounced San Hoze, as a Joshi, are you Apoorva Hozhi?"

Drink the hot herbal green tea in a transparent glass (preferably the kinds they serve beer in) at work. Everyone thinks you are having beer. Once you make it clear to everyone that it is green tea, and they laugh off how stupid they could be, start having beer!

Bally's swimming pool in the White Marsh - Baltimore area has a weird rule. Lifegaurds need a break for 10 mins. every hour. So the pool is closed from 10:50-11:00, 11:50-12:00 and so on. If you happen to be swimming, you have to vacate the pool area and return after 10 mins. Am I surrounded by dumb people, or am I the dumb one?

I think I have put on a lil too much weight. When I walk into Chipotle and ask for a Burrito Bol, the guy behind the counter always asks, "Two?". Off late my friends are laying bets on this.

And lastly, I seriously think Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears should be put in the same lock-up. And kept there. Forever.