Friday, June 24, 2005

Robbing Apoorva - Part I


To the guy/gal who robbed me off my money on Wednesday - THANK YOU!

You gave me something to blog about.

And now....

ROT IN HELL!! ASSHOLE!

Yeah, its been a screwed up week. First I get this court notice from my landlord saying I dont pay rent and should appear in court and vacate the premises. Heh! The man is drunk! But thats another story which I'll save for another day. Rest assured for now, I pay my rent much before due date.

After all these events I still managed to put up a happy smile as I walked into Bally's today. After an hour of working out I returned to my locker and found the happiness disappear. My lock is missing. Funny I thought. Did I forget to put it on at all? First thought in my mind - Is the wallet + cell phone okay? I open the locker and find my wallet. But the money is gone. Cell is intact. Backpack has been searched through.

Those of you who used to tease me about being a order freak & being in love with sorting algorithms (read: everything should be in a certain order) can go eat some dust. My habit of placing my credit cards as per a certain order in my wallet finally paid off. The order had been changed and the cards had been kept back. So I knew the guy had happily gone through the cards, my license etc. Damn, need to get my cards cancelled out. Ahhh... this sucks!

This is the reason why each day of the week I wear certain color underwear. This way if someone stole my underwear, I would know....

I walk up to the entrance. That cute little attendant I have been so shy to talk with is there (Thank You Mr. Robber). I tell her my sad story and she directs me to this bodybuilder of a guy (Screw You Mr. Robber!). After filing a complaint with the Bally staff I put on my saddest face which finally evokes some sympathy from cute attendant. Suddenly this other guy pops up outta nowhere saying he is been robbed. Within 20 minutes there are good 6-8 people who are in the same boat. The cops are called.

Lets talk about Hindi movies. No, I am not going off topic here. In the movies the cops come after the action is over. The cops here are better. They dont come at all. I waited for a good 2 hours before dialling 911 again and telling them some dozen people have been robbed and they were supposed to be here like 2 hours ago. Whats the reply? They are too busy right now. I could go to a police station and file a report. Thank You for the 2 hour long wait!! Not that I was complaining. I used that to cancel my cards off and talk to cute attendant. I also tried to sell her my colored underwear theory. She didnt look too impressed. Not surprised, women dont understand me anyways! All this talk about underwear theory with cute "cannot understand my theory" attendant made me hungry.

So off I went to get some food at Taco Bell. I place my order and realize I have cancelled my cards off. I'll pay by cash I thought. And then I remember once again, someone stole my cash. So there I am staring at fat scary lady behind cash register telling me "6.57 dollars" and looking amused as I shuffle through my wallet. I wondered if I tell her my sad story would she gimme some free tacos. No luck! Fortunately she didnt kick me out.

So this is how I got robbed. Mr. Robber, if you do read my blog, remember, you owe me 50 bucks and some cancelled credit cards and one nice purple colored combination lock. Do you know how difficult it is to get a weird colored combination lock these days? In the stereotyped world of silver+black colored combination locks, my purple lock stood out so well. I never had to remember the locker number. Just look for the lock.

Once again, Mr. Robber:

ROT IN HELL!

May the drugs you buy outta my money kill you ASAP.

And now I'll figure out how to live 2 weeks without cash and credit cards (my closest bank is 70 miles away).

8 Comments:

Blogger abhi said...

Bird's been missing for four days ... think he could pull this off ... he stands as usual suspect #1

Usual suspect #2 is of course Pals ... but then again ... he's known to take from you with permission and never return (which may of course count as stealing .. but he'll do it in front of you)

make ur pick ...

btw, me... i was here in mumbai .. i have lotsa alibis here ...

i didnt do it .. no one saw me doin it

June 24, 2005 1:31 AM  
Blogger infected said...

Firstly .... there's a part one ....unless if part 2 is a continuation, are you expecting to be robbed again?

Thus, are you the robber? ;)

Secondly ... Apoo, dont you think the purple lock might have been something that attracted the robber? It did stand out. maybe you inspired the robber to steal, he in turn, was disappointed not to find anything and was forced to break open other locks ....

All this because of a purple lock .....

Shouldn't you remember locker numbers and blend into a crowd only to avoid being singled out?

I'm reading too many espionage novels.

June 24, 2005 4:39 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

ya last nite we had daru and bird gave us tang... said he was wet and was smelling rotten...

does this lead somewhere... is bird actually "rotting all the way to hell"...

your shraap actually works...

June 25, 2005 1:56 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

I have to rule Bird out of this one. Its too slick a job for Bird to execute.

Pals... like Abbs rightly pointed out... he knows he can ask. But I trie calling him from Bally's and he never picked the phone. So possible... !

Alap, having a purple lock makes me look like one of the brothers. So they would spare me. It helps. On the contrary, some desi robber might think its Bappi-da at the gym and break the locker.

And I forgot to mention, the creep also took the 200 INR I had. He prolly thought its $200. But still, thats a bottle of IB :-(

June 26, 2005 1:49 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

BTW, which Bally's u talking about?

June 26, 2005 10:13 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

Nottingham one.

June 27, 2005 8:33 PM  
Blogger IdeaSmith said...

Ahhhh.....*making sympathetic noises*...shaant ho bachcha, paisa to maya jaal hai...

On the other hand, I like the underwear theory...I think u should write a post on it.

June 28, 2005 2:02 PM  
Blogger APOO said...

Smithy, u perve! :-P

June 28, 2005 2:51 PM  

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