Friday, May 27, 2005

Will you be there?

A person I know, in fact we worked on the same team, was not doing too well. He had to undergo a minor surgery. Jim is an elderly person. Just about touching 60 I would say, but much weak than a 60 year old person should be. It occured to me he lives all alone so I volunteered to be of any help, should he need it.

On the day of his surgery my roomie and myself dropped him off to the hospital, and later in the evening picked him up and did a pharmacy run for him. He was so heavily sedated that we had to support him into and out of the car. As we walked out of his place I was in two minds whether to leave him alone or to stay overnight with him. I had spoken to the doctors and they had said he'll get out of the sedation in a few hours and he should be perfectly fine. Taking their word for it and making sure his refridgerator was stocked with food, I took off. He called after a few hours and said he was doing fine.

I had been wondering, had I not been around what would he have done?

Someone told me he has some 2 or 3 kids and is divorced. I dont know his history and I dont really care. But at a time like this, I would have helped my worst enemy. When someone genuinely needs help and its in your capacity to help them, I always believe you should. I wonder where his kids were? Where his wife was?

Today I came upon this
true story of a father blogging about the pains he has been through when his one and only new born girl died. Probably one of the most touching things I have read in a long time. And I feel for Michael.

Us humans are a funny race. On one side we mourn the loss of a loved one. On the other extreme we could care less about someone we might have been in love with. We let our ego, pride, self-esteem get in our way. People who were once a close knit part of our lives are living a life tangential to ours. Just because you had to have things your way? You wouldnt bend, neither would the other person. Ask Michael. He'll bend a thousand times to have Mei back. When I read Michaels story, I thought, to hell with our ego's, to hell with our pride, to hell with self-esteem. I count in those lucky few who has his loved ones around him. They are my ego, they are my pride, they are my self esteem. And I'll never let go of them! I will try my best to always be there!

Who's not lost that one friend over a certain misunderstanding. And you never tried to go back and patch up. Just because your ego got in the way? Just because you felt its not worth it? I know, sometimes it better to let the person go and I dont want to get into all those analogies right now. Let the relationship go, but dont let that person go! Be there when they need you. You were friends before you got married. You were there for each other. Marriage did not end up being the perfect paradise. But why did it kill that friendship? Everyone who has entered your life is worth being a part of your life.

Sometimes you look too hard at the small things and lose sight of the big picture, called LIFE. If that ever happens to me, I know one blog which would remind me the value of family, community and those near and dear to me.


Blogger abhi said...

won't say much ..
this is really well put

May 27, 2005 12:55 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

ur right pride and ego sucks, doesnt help gettin much done... it is a waste of time and energy

as far as mei is concerned, nobody can feel or empathize with her father right now... its just not possible for people to understand what he has gone thru... very touching

May 27, 2005 1:16 AM  
Blogger iyer education said...

it was meant to be our... i missed out on 'o'... dont take it personally

May 27, 2005 1:17 AM  
Blogger couchpotato said...

Excellent post! It's true: Ego is man's worst enemy.


May 27, 2005 6:14 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Wow... I dont know what to say. Loved this post.

May 27, 2005 9:22 AM  
Blogger APOO said...

Rumpelstiltskin (its so much easy to type Arun or Iyer): Nothing on this blog is taken personally. If I did I would have to stop blogging long time back :-)

Abhi, Arjun & Nicole: Thanks!

May 27, 2005 10:48 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Well in Western countires people love to stay alone and this is a fallout of the independance that they love :-)

June 10, 2005 12:18 PM  

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