Saturday, February 24, 2007


Ummm, nope, I am not doing a male version of Beyonce's DreamGirls. I have just been tagged by Deepak to put down three of my weirdest dreams. While I am more than willing to do that, I shall add my own twist to it.

Ok, so back to dreaming.

Perhaps the weirdest dream I had was last weekend (Saturday night into Sunday morning). I dreamt a child was born to my uncle & aunt (my Mom laughed when I told her this) and the family was all happy. They had got the kid home from hospital when I walked in with my cousin bro (my uncles actual son). As we looked at the kid, we realized he has no eyes. No eyes meaning, he had eye-lids, but no eye-balls and the works underneath. Pull up the eye-lids and its all hollow. So I was pulling his eye-lids apart and looking in to see whats wrong (hey, its a weird dream, remember?). And my cousin bro was all panicky that there are no eyes. However, everyone around was very calm when they heard the news. And thats where it ends.

Explanation: I saw Eklavya on Saturday night where Amitabh plays an old guard with dying eyesight. There is a lot of focus on his eyes etc. in the movie and perhaps this was playing on my mind when I went to sleep.

However, what I wonder is why had nobody noticed the kid had no eyes till my cousin and I walked in?

I get this recurring dream. Its my engineering or my 12th grade examination the next day and I have completely forgetten about it. And there are these massive books, crazy diagrams, paper notes and I know it is impossible to seek in this information in a days time. Basically, I am flunking. Which is when I wake up. I must have had this dream about 3-5 times.

Conclusion: I should not have given my 12th or engineering exams!

I am getting married (there had to be one dream on this!!). However, I have no idea who the bride is. Even funnier, the marriage is on my building terrace (what we call T-Top), which is all lighted up and decorated and I am dressed up in a dhoti while all the people around me are dressed up in the typical Karan Johar movie-wedding sequence clothes. Both the sides family's are on T-Top but the girl is missing. Then someone says she is on her way from UK. The flight was delayed. Meantime my friends start calling to join them on the water tank and drink away. The girl arrives but I cant see her. All I can see is she is dressed in white and people escort her away. Suddenly there is music. Sounds like trance. Everyone starts dancing while I stand and stare. More people join in. The crowd gets intense, like a packed B.E.S.T. bus. People are clinging onto anything they see. Pipes, poles. The music plays on. T-top is packed beyond capacity with people dressed in traditional clothes dancing to trance. Suddenly the marriage has turned into a Frathouse party! Till one person falls off. And then people start jumping off T-top (which is an eight storey drop). And this is when I wake up.

Explanation: Marriage - just read my previous post. It was playing on my mind. In Mumbai, we sit on T-top every night and get drunk. I had a 13 hour stop-over in London, which might explain the UK connection. Bird keeps talking about crowded BEST buses all the time.
However jumping off the terrace and girl dressed in white? *Scratches head*

Conclusion: My marriage is gonna be one hell of a rave party!

They say one can interpret most dreams. I wont tag anyone (however, anyone who has not blogged in a while could try their hand at this), but would definitely like to hear how you interpret these dreams. Thats my twist to the tag and your homework for the day!

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Apoorva Marries Movie Star.... NOT!

The last post was about Iyers marriage. Now lets talk about mine!

For ye ignorants, I am back to the land of the Gujjus - USA. However, this trip to India has been a lot of fun to say the least. First up, 10 days after I landed in India, I landed up in a hospital. IV drip (I asked the doc to plug it into a Bacardi but he wouldnt agree) and the works. After a weeks stay at the hospital wherein the doctor successfully performed liposuction, butt implants and a lil botox I was sitting home recovering for a couple of more weeks. These few weeks turned out to be the perfect time for my Mom to brainwash me on getting married. And despite being highly drugged, I refused. When Mom used to say, "Lets check out some girls", I was so sure I am hearing things as an after-effect of 'em antibiotics. However I insisted I was too drugged to talk straight with a girl (which I never do, but served as a good excuse this time) and Mom went silent. For a while.

She waited calmly for a few weeks till I started club hopping with Abhi and gang. And then insisted I "check out some girls" since I was back to my normal self. One thing you should know about my Mom. She wont take a flat NO as an answer. However if you give her a No with some good reasoning to support it, she'll accept. However, she will make you regret it. Hence, this is the conversation which followed.

Me: I dont think in 14 days I can zero down on a girl I would like to get married to. Even if I found someone interesting (read - rich and hot), there is no way that in 14 days I am gonna get to know her so well to say she is the one. And once I leave for USA, I am not "getting to know her better via e-mail, chat or phone" (this by the way is an outright lie. If you are a rich hot chick reading this, I will chat, email and call you up like there is no tomorrow. Actually, lets get married tomorrow!)

Mom: True. Perhaps you are right. Its too late this time. Perhaps your next trip. (looks at Dad) You should tell the ZEE TV person Apoorva is not interested this time.


Mom: Oh, I forget the familys name. Their only daughter is an actress. Stars in this show on ZEE, every Monday to Thursday, X:XX PM. They seemed to be interested.

Me: Oh.... accha? Really?

Mom: Yeah, her name is (held back for obvious reasons) and the character she plays is called (held back for obvious reasons)

So come Monday, X:XX PM, I creep into my room and tune into ZEE TV. And my Miss(ed) Opportunity is all over the boob tube. The sequence being shown is that she has been dumped by her fiancee, is standing on her house terrace shedding tears when it starts pouring. She continues standing there, getting all wet in the rain (called, get wet in the rain sequence). At the same time, my Mom enters the room.

Mom: Thats her! Thats her!

Me: (Depressed) Yeah.

Mom: She is so good looking no?

Me: (Depressed) Yeah.

Mom: But you are right. 10 days is too less to get to know someone. During our times it was different. Arranged marriages. They used to work out well.

And Mom walks out the door while Miss(ed) Opportunity gets drenched in the rain.

Now, wo has a gun I could borrow?