Sunday, February 26, 2006

Time To Shop For Clothes?

Over the weekend I happened to bump into a High School friend of mine. We had not seen each other for years and it was good fun catching up. Over the course of our conversation, she mentioned on how I hardly seem to have changed (apart from the lack of hair). At one stage she went down to the level of saying that my dressing sense was just the same as it was since she first knew me.

"Here, this shirt. Look at this shirt. I can so tell you would buy this shirt. The shirt you are wearing. I remember seeing you in a similiar shirt the first time I met you. I remember seeing you in a similiar shirt everytime I have seen you."

I, was just silent.

Then she looks at me with the "Something is wrong. Whats he hiding from me?" expression.

"No. Cant be. YOU NEED TO GO SHOPPING!! Isn't this the same shirt you have had since 11th grade?"


So I went home, shuffled through my clothing wear and finally came to the conlusion. I need to overcome my fear of the mall and go shopping!

Proof of the same.

Above snap happens to be taken during my 10th grade (1994-95). I am the one on the extreme left, followed by Ganguly (who looks like he flunked a couple of years) and Athan.

Now comes the shocker. The snap below, July 3rd, 2004, taken at Baltimore Inner Harbour. Top to bottom - Me, Bakshi and Pals

Notice the shirt I am wearing in both the snaps. I think someone gifted me that shirt in 1992-93.

Yes. Guilty.

In the end, what does this prove?

Since 1992, I have not put on any weight!!!! Screw you all who say I have grown fatter!

Today, I am a Happy Man. Einstein would have been proud!

Monday, February 20, 2006

How To Get Fired


Like once in a blue moon, after a comeplete organization restructuring, some hot shot hob-nob guy will walk up, pull up a power point chart with millions of round circles, with each circle having a name in them and arrows moving towards or away from that circle to other circles.

Today was such a day at work. Head honcho walks in and due to the recent hires and fires pulls up a PPT presentation showing names of people I know (and dont know), in a heirarchical manner. Programmer, reporting to Lead Programmer, reporting to Manager, who reports to Director who reports to VP. Humm, you know the triangle.

Well, the perfect triangle. Till I came into the picture. Looming out of nowhere, far away from this perfect triangle stood this circle with moi's name in it. And from the circle came out like a million arrows heading to every other circle (well, almost every other circle). Director, manager, office assistant, IT, facilities. You name it.

"He he! Apoorva, your role has become so undefined that this turned out to be ideal."

"Thats fine Bill. But all these arrows... it mean I report to all these people or all these people report to me?"

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Blogger Burn-Out

I thought the day would never come, but I actually feel like I am out of ideas. Like there is nothing worth blogging about. I have about 7 posts drafted, but as I read them, none make me wanna hit the publish button.

I am feeling the same about work. Fortunately I dont feel the same about life.

I need to re-invent.

Random thoughts.

  • Define your goals. Write them down. And ask yourself periodically what you have been doing to achieve them. This is what Dad said once to me. I nodded but I didnt do the mentioned. I wish I had. Fortunately its not too late. The problem is someone said, its never too late. So I keep postponing.

  • If you really want to enjoy it, you have to give yourself a 110% to it. That really makes it enjoyable. But the fear creeps in that if it doesnt work out, something which you gave 110% to, could easily scar you for life. So you could be sensible and do a 50-50. Balance your emotions. Your brain with your heart. But then, you dont enjoy it so much. If your heart is not 100% in it, I call it being mechanical.

  • I hate being Mechanical. Just walking through the steps. At work, at home, in life. When I say I am in this, then I am 110% dedicated to it. So when I say I'll meet a deadline, I will. When I say I love you, I do. When I say I could help, I will. When I say you are fat, you are!

  • Yes, I have thought of taking a break from blogging. But then, I think I'll just re-invent.

  • Sometimes I feel like I need to give it all up. Just quit and go to a remote village in India and start a school. Or work for an Old Age home. Or to help the victims of a natural calamity. Or to stand up and fight corruption. Change the system. I just dont find myself bold enough to take that step. For now.

  • I, many a time believe in "Once Bitten Twice Shy". But I also believe sometimes it worth being bold enough into taking a risk of heading into the same mistake twice, where if things turn out to be your way, it would be much worth it.

  • Most of us lead happy lives. Party, make merry, get expensive university degrees, make money, build a house, have a family, talk about world politics and how things could be improved and feel content by the end of the day. Very few actually sacrifice all of the aforementioned to make the world a better place.

  • All of us waste time. Only few dont waste time regretting having wasted time.

  • Not all my posts make sense. This counts in one of those which doesnt.

Since I have spoken so much about having goals, here are my short term blog goals. Hopefully if I put them down here, I will be forced to implement them.

  • A post on my India visit. A rather big post. You have been warned.
  • A post on someone very special to me.
  • A post on travelling the Mumbai local trains.
  • A post on food. Come on, remember, I am the man who loves to cook!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Bond. Unbond. Unsolved Mystery Solved.

Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Memento? Fight Club? Vanilla Sky? Have there been moments when you are sitting in a movie and keep wondering, what the hell is going on? Why dont I get it? There has to be something to this. Why aint I not getting it? Analyze, analyze, analyze and then, over-analyze! Come the climax, and it all just falls in. Makes sense.

So, as life would have it, Madame Desi is back to her best. What, you guys have a short term memory and cant seem to recollect her? U old people. Go, read
here and here, while I wait patiently.


And I found myself a couple of days ago sitting in my office, thinking about how my bank balance is looking like Jessica Simpsons brain (empty), and if I should invest in those Golf Clubs. Which is when the familiar figure of Madame Desi walks into my room.

"Do you have any Maggi noodles?"

"Eh? No."

"But I thought you would always have Maggi"

"I never had Maggi. But I have oatmeal. U want?"

"Errr.. No."

Next day, I come upon MD, standing next to the Microwave, tearing into two packets of Maggi.

Today, I happen to walk into a meeting and find Madame Desi sitting in it. Fine. Talks are on, my boss is into this critical design decision and Madame Desi, takes out a half cut lemon and starts sucking on it. Yeah, imagine 10 people in a mini-conference room, talking something critical, and Madame Desi takes out a lemon and starts sucking it. Try as much as I could, I couldnt take my eyes off that sight.

And I walked out of the meeting, disturbed.

This was it. None of it was making sense, just like the first two hours of Pulp Fiction. What were all these signs? Why the eccentric behavior? Why was it not falling into place?

And then, I walked up to Madame Desi and asked her, "Are you Pregnant?"

If someone had to ever get as red as a tomato, it had to be her. And if you ever had to see embarassment at its best, you had to see her. And yes, she did nod, in approval.

That explains it all. Some stories can get confusing, but towards the climax, everything falls into place. From today, I have a reason to associate Madame Desi's eccentric behavior. And hopefully this is the last we shall hear of her!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Mea Culpa

Mea Maxima Culpa.

Yes. I have been ignoring my blog. If I blame this to a hectic offline life, will you accept it? Also, I have so not been reading posts put up by my fellow bloggers. Once again, a hectic offline life?

Just to let people know, I am back in USA, with no more
iJalpa's on the flight back. There was an Alpes Patel, but he was a reasonably nice chap. So I wont go into the not-so-interesting details of my travel. Just that I am back and have shifted apartments. I finally have an entire house to myself and no Hunny Bunny Roomie for company (phew!). I never knew shifting apartments could make me lose all the fat I had gained on my India trip.

The fact that I have not been blogging, aint mean I have not been thinking. One such thought which came to my mind was why did I actually start blogging? It was more to build up an online journal of the present, the past and an insight into the future. Somewhere down the line I lost track of the very purpose of this blog. Not saying I dont enjoy it, I very much do. But somewhere, somehow, something seems to be missing. So if you come across some posts in the future which make you go - "Eh, what the hell is this post doing here?" - you have been warned!

Lastly, I would like to thank all the forces of nature which helped maintain my bachelor status. I would like to thank Mom, for all the awesome food during my India trip (and much more), Dad for doing all the running around, packing etc. while I lazed around like a lazy bum (and for making me realize about my excessive weight), Sunny, for not biting me and Abhi for having a haircut!

Yeah, I am back, with loads of gyan, some hilarious posts about my India visit to follow and a new hairstyle.