Thursday, January 26, 2006


Since I have written this post on "Why Me?", I try to live up to what I preach and stop saying "Why Me?". But some incidents do not stop people around me to take notice and say - "Why You Apoo?"

22nd Jan, 2006.
Abhi and I head out to watch Zinda. Once the movie is done (which BTW, is a really good movie), Abhi walks out, lead by Me, to the rest room. At this point, lets split this post into two different views.

-Abhi's side of the story-

So Apoo heads off to this pee section on the other side, hidden by a wall, while I am near the wash basin, splashing water on my face and combing my hair (which, these days is a very tough task).

I hear this flush noise, which sounds kinda weird and someone go - "WOW". I wonder why someone would go "WOW" as he would pee (I mean, imagine looking at your pee-pee and saying - WOW!).... but the whole scene is hidden by a wall between the wash area and the pee area.

Then I hear Apoo behind me, saying, "Abhi, look at this" and I turn around to see Apoo drenched with water (I was hoping it was water) waist down. Pants all wet. Like his waist down was hit by a hurricane. I could not help but think. Apoo pee'd in his pants!!

-End Abhi's side of the story-

-Begin Apoo's side of the story-

I head off to pee while Abhi hangs around in the wash area. Now am sure all you ladies have visited a mens loo once in your life. If not, in any case, am sure you all know about those famous stand-up booths men use to pee away. Let me not go into the details of the pee, but lets move to the point when I am done, all zipped up and like a good citizen, ready to flush.

Now usually a flush in any pee-station would work in a gentle fashion. Spray out gently like a water sprinkler, gather all the pee in its current and then drain away. Here, things were different. When you hit the flush, it was like the dam of a high capacity river opening up. It was like the 37 inches of Mumbai rain, but all of the water coming out of the flush in 2 seconds.

So sploosh. The water crashes into the pee station, and splashes right onto me, of course, with my pee as company. So here I am standing all drenched, waist down, while the chap standing behind me goes - "Wow"

In an utter state of shock, I walk out to the wash area and say, "Abhi, look at me"

- End Apoo's side of the story-

Abhi: "Dude, kya hua?"
Me: "Man, the flush just flushed back on me. This is like, I peed on myself man"
Abhi: "Hahahahahahaha"
Me: "Abbe, gimme, paper napkins or something."
Abhi: "Dude, they are out of 'em"

- Silence -

Abhi: "Hahahahahahaha. Why does this happen to you only man?"
Me: "Brighter side. Thank God you are not a girl. Imagine walking out like this to a girl on your first date."
Abhi: "Chal, lets go"
Me: "Dude, this is still dripping wet..... *grin* ok, lets go"

And we happily walk out of the FAME ADLABS mall. I got a few whacko kinda stares, and I smiled back at them, which made them think I was surely whacko! The auto-rickshaw guy kept complaining that all of Mumbai was going dirty and he can smell piss everywhere.

I agree. Only if people flushed!

Be a good citizen. Always flush!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Where Is My Privacy?

One thing about living in USA is the level of privacy. I do what I want and no one cares to hoot. Even if they do, I dont get to hear it. But here, I have to be extra careful.

Certain instance -

I was walking about Shoppers Stop with my good friend Nishchal, in an attempt to buy trousers. So while we were looking up for a size which would fit my waist this gorgeous damsel passes by.

Me: "Hmmmm... good"
NK: "Ok.... but face not that good"
Me: "But still, good"
NK: "Yeah"

(and we shamelessly stare at her, unaware of any other people in the world)

NK & Me (simultaneously): "Nice height"

Give each other the grin and keep staring.

NK: "Ok, he saw us!"
-walks in direction of the lady-

Me: "eh?"

Then I notice Dad standing right behind the lady, staring at us, with this dry smile on his face.

Walks up to me with Nishchal by his side.

Me: "Errr... checking out trousers"
Dad: "I noticed. Now lets look at ones which are your size and up for purchase"

Whats the world come to? I cant stare at random hot bods without any fear of a Dad popping up behind.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Not Happy

And I thought my Dad would be Happy to see me!

Apparently NOT!

If the Video does not play, try it from the vimeo site. There is a download option for the avi file there.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Apoorva Zeitgeist

Google has a Zeitgeist. To explain it to the common man, they list the most searched/queried terms (in descending order).

Here is the Apoorva Zeitgeist. The most common words I have heard since arriving in Mumbai

  1. When did you come?
  2. Are you getting married?
  3. How long are you here?
  4. Your hair seems to have grown back.
  5. Whats your salary?
  6. What did you get for me?
  7. Howz your sex life?
  8. You have lost hair.
  9. Nice shoes.
  10. No, I will not marry you!

There have been variations to No. 2 in terms of:
"I know this girl...."
"I know this family...."
"Look, GIRL!"
"Beta, you are 26...."