Monday, October 29, 2007


The Panera Bread at Baltimore has a system where you get an order #, and once the food is ready, they call out your order #. On the west side of Michigan, or in Wilmington, Delaware, they make it more complicated. They ask for your name as you place the order and call out your name when the food is ready. And this is where the trouble starts.

As many might have noticed, my name is not the best for the 'Wild Wild' West. Its difficult to walk up in a bar... ok, its easy to walk up in a bar but its difficult to pull off a "How you doing? The name is Apoorva", compared to a "How you doing? The name is Clint". Not to say - My name is Apoorva - ever worked in India, but it never got me a "Huh?"

Anyhoo, back to Panera. I place my order and the pretty lady behind the counter asks for my first name. From experience I have learned to pass on my last name in such cases.

"J-O-S-H-I. Joshi"
(pretty lady types)
"Ok, no guarantees on that one", she says.

So I move to the section where they are making the paninis and soups and all that yummy food and another pretty lady is bringing out the food and calling out names.

"Tom, your order is ready"
"Jane, your order is ready"

Long pause, looks at the screen.

Has trouble reading
"Ho....? Errr...."

"Yes, thats me"
"How do you say your name?"
"You dont wanna try. All I'll tell ya is its definitely not Ho'!"

And we laugh.

And then I walk away.

The new Ho' in town!

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Friday, October 05, 2007


She: Hey! Nice jacket. Where did you get it from?
Me: Guess.
She: Ummm... Banana Republic?
Me: Errr... no, Guess!
She: Ok! Why dont you just tell me?
Me: I bought it from GUESS!
(silent moment)
She: Oh! Hehehe!

Why do brand names have to be weird?

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Monday, October 01, 2007

Doritos Made Healthy

I have mentioned it before. Right here. For a woman, nothing is sexier than a man who cooks.

I was wrong!!

I should have stayed up with the new age.

Nothing is sexier than a man who can cook healthy food. Or better, make junk food look healthy. And so the man improvises his game and stays up with the current trend!

Presenting - Misal Doritos, a la Doritos, made healthy!

Who has been to Bombay and had Misal Pav?

Soak 'em Moth Beans overnight and dry them. Leave them another 12 hours till they sprout a little.
Cook these with diced onions and tomatoes on a light flame till they are nice and soft. Add a little of Indian masalas if you like.
Bake potatoes till they are nice and soft.
Crush some Doritos into a bowl. I used the spicy buffalo flavor. Mix with above.
Add the tamarind chutney you get for bhel puri and mix throughly!

Its quick, its fast and its yummy.

Dont crush the Doritos, but lay them out with the mixture on them and you have Indian Nachos!

Ok, now who wants to marry me?

I shall entertain emails and phone calls for further inquiries on the recipe, provided you invite me over when the item is cooked and ready!
I shall cook for you if you rate me 11 on a scale of 10 (0 being least and 10 being max.) for the sexiest cook alive!
If you steal this recipe and make money out of it without sharing the booty.... screw you!

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