Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Truth Is.....



Sunday, May 25, 2008

We Are Family (Continued)

Whatever our background, I think deep down my family is Parsee.

My Dad still drives the 1984 car which shines like a brand new Maserati.
We still have the Godrej cupboard which was purchased in the 1970's.
I still wear clothes I wore in 1985.

Not to say the Parsee's do the above (surely not clothes from 1985), but they are on the whole famous for living in the ancient-family-passed-on by generations world. You can identify a car owned by a Parsee. You can walk into a house and you know it belongs to a Parsee household just looking at the grand aristocratic furniture passed on by generations.

Anyways the essence of this post is my familys tedency not to part with anything pre-historic. My Mom will have every small thing packed and stored away (including plastic bags) for you never know when it might be useful. And our PC at home. An old dilapidated Pentium - II and a Funai monitor. When you switch on the same, the image on the screen vibrates incessantly till Dad slams the side of the monitor and it stabilizes. Click on the Internet Explorer icon, walk away, have a cup of coffee, get your kids married, watch them grow old and hopefully by then IE would have launched. Ok, you get the idea!

So this time round I decided to drop my laptop (which in itself is 5 years old) for good ol' Dad. So now we have the P-II tower, the Funai monitor and my laptop kept besides each other. However, everytime I head towards the laptop, I see it replaced by a mousepad. After putting the mousepad away, getting the laptop back into position, setting up the net etc etc. the next day, the laptop is again replaced by a mousepad and the net cable connected to the P-II monster.

So now I have a morning ritual. Connect the laptop to the net.

My Dad has an evening ritual. Disconnect the laptop and connect the P-II to the net.

I tell ya..... Parsee!

On a side-note. Talking of Parsee's reminds me of a friend I had in mithibai college who was named Percy. During one lecture the prof asked him to stand up and this was the conversation which followed:

Prof: Are you Parsee?
Percy: No, its Percy.

Time to fly back to the USA. I have had such an awesome time in Mumbai, sometimes I wonder why am I even going back. And that too of all places.... west Michigan. Nothing against the place but it would be nice if I actually saw some people there. And until I buy a new laptop I am gonna be offline. But I'll put up a post of what I did and who I killed as soon as I am back to the online world.

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

We Are Family

Me: Dude, what do you want from the US?
Cousin Bro (CB): Hmmmm...
Me: Should I get the Wii?
CB: No! Get me basketball shorts!
Me: Huh? One sec, I got you 4 basketball shorts last time.
CB: Man, they didnt have pockets! Can you get me basketball shorts with pockets?

Me: Ok, anything you want from here?
Mom: Ummm.... when we were in Walmart...
Me: OK! No Walmart. Anything but Walmart!
Mom: Arre... but those gloves I got from there, they were really nice!
Me: OK, tell me to get you perfumes! Body creams... shoes...
Mom: You get all that in India, Apoo. I couldnt find those gloves here!

Me: What do you want from USA? (in a slightly given up tired tone)
Aunt: You sound so tired. You come here and get married.
Me: I am tired of people not answering my questions! What do you want? I am pathetic at shopping stuff for you women, so please help before I end buying something stupid like a size 15 shoe!
Aunt: See, if you get married your wife will shop for all of us!
Me: I am getting you a handbag!
Aunt: No! Get me icebreakers!
Me: You get icebreakers in India right?
Aunt: You get everything in India, but get me icebreakers!

Me: What do you want from here?
Mama: Lets see! I dont have a laptop and I have been thinking of getting one.
Me: Now you talking! What config?
Mama: But then, I have a PC at home, a PC at work. I doubt I am going to log on in the train. Whats the use of a laptop? Do this, just gimme cash!

Me: Dad?
Dad: What time does your flight get here?
Me: What do you want from US?
Dad: Nothing beta, you come here!
Me: Do you realize the customs guy is going to be verrry disappointed when I walk through with empty bags?
Dad: Last time I was visiting you, I forgot my jeans there. Can you carry those?

If you work in the Bombay imigration/customs and see two empty bags pass through the scanner - its ME!

I'll be back home for two weeks starting May 10th. Anyone wanna hang around, just drop me an email.

Also, I fly out of my favorite Gujju airport. Newark, NJ. So if you are looking for an entertaining post, keep your fingers crossed that I find another iJalpa sitting next to me.

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Monday, May 05, 2008


The more I come across these weird fanatics, the more I think I should invest in.... an iPod.

I am sitting in the sauna, you know those ten minutes of peace after an hour of exercise, when this guy sits next to me.

Are you from India?

(nods yes)

He: Can I tell you about Jesus?
Me: No, thank you. I know about Jesus.
Do you know Jesus bleeds for us?

And then he keeps going on and on about Jesus.

Now I am fine with all this. Sitting through four years of engineering has taught me how to stare into open space and completely shut off from the world (world = professor lecturing on electromagnetic force). And while Mr. Preacher goes on and on, I am slipping into blank mode where I even refuse to acknowledge him.

This, till he out of nowhere goes, "The Muslims, they have got it all wrong. Islam is..."

Before he can go on, I give him the thousand yard angry look and say, "I am Muslim", and look away.

What follows is silence for a few seconds. Then he says, "Even the Hindus, they have got it all wrong. They worship too many Gods"

I inwardly smile and seriously contemplate between a $200 iPod and a $250 hand gun.


Thursday, May 01, 2008

Is It Just Me?

You could listen to that one special song a million times on a CD, have that one CD play over and over for two months in your car till it becomes routine and it no longer makes you swing to its rhythm.

And one fine day when you switch on the radio and that very same song starts playing after a couple of minutes, it gets you all excited. "Hey, thats the song I have been listening to all this time", and again you are swaying to the tune and singing the words out loud.

Ever happen to you? Or is it just me?

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