Tag Karma

I think its high time I caught up on some tags before 'tag karma' bites me back. I have no clue what tag karma is, I just made it up, so dont ask! Anyways....

I was tagged ages ago by Solitaire to list down some embarassing moments (like every other post in this blog was not enough). I think there might be a thin line between embarassing and funny, and in most cases, I cant define that line. Everything looks funny to me. But well....

- When I was interviewing for this job, and had my interview with the hiring manager, I ended up sitting in his chair. He went out to get coffe, asked me to grab a seat (I swear he pointed in a direction which led to his chair) and when he returned, there I was enjoying his comfy office chair. If any of you are wondering, yes, I did receive a job offer and I did take it up. And no, its not the place I currently work at.

- I cant think of any other embarassing moments. Heck, yeah, once I refused to wear pants (please note I was 5 years old then). I have no clue why, but one fine morning I refused to wear pants. So my Mom threw me out of the house and that freaked me out. This resulted in a lot of loud crying, which brought out the neighbors. So here I was, standing outside my house, minus pants, with neighbors staring at me. Please note (again) I was five years old. And I am not too sure who was embarassed more. My neighbors, or myself. But why am I not surprised that one of my neighbors moved out all the way to Spain after that incident. Abhi's (who is my neighbor) mom still keeps smiling when she looks at me and my third neighbor just cranks up his TV volume so in case I repeat this act again, he wont hear me cry and hopefully miss out on the event! Once again people, I was 5 years old, so stop imagining things! And Mom, if you are reading this - thank you for tossing me out of the house, else I would have never worn pants!

And now that I have grossed you guys out and done my one evil deed of the day, I shall move on to my next tag.

So I have been tagged by Khizzy in her top five choices for a 'Brilliant Weblog' award (I tell ya people, I am so moving to Pakistan!). You could probably go read the rules etc. on her post. You just have to pass on five people whose blogs you find interesting. Thats tough for me, coz I have a ton of blogs I visit and find many interesting. But I'll throw out five here, which for some reason captivate me. I shall omit those who already have this award, those I have already tagged in this post and those who are not blogging so frequently.

1. DewdropDream - Love the way she plays with words. If I apply to B-school, I am hiring her to write my essays!

2. Tazeen - You got to love her. She takes inspiration from me telling her that her blog is boring. So she holds a live grenade in her hand and clicks photos of classmates sleeping (alone and with each other) during a training in Italy!

3. Princess Banter - She will blog once a month, but make the wait worth it. I just like her style and ways she blows you off with some of her theories (or her friends theories)

4. Menagerie - She can put down the most ordinary day of her life in the most amazing fashion possible.

5. Iyerospace - Just so everyone believes I am not reading blogs written by women! But Iyer is Iyer. Leave your brains aside and read his blog. Its like watching a Govinda movie. Dont apply too much logic to it. A good break from the serious sorts!

6. Mahi - I know I was supposed to tag only five, but I have to tag Mahi more out of fear, else the next time I log onto gchat, I am in for a message which goes something like, "WTF dude! Why was I not tagged! I should be #1 out there! Tag me! NOW!!"

... 21 days to go!

Iyerospace On Joshienizer: When Size Doesnt Matter

I should have penned this at a much earlier date, but I refrained doing so due to safety concerns. Iyer was in Baltimore the long weekend of 27th May. OK, make that Baltimore, DC and NYC. And I thought I should wait till he leaves USA for good, such that there is no security threat to me after I hit publish.



For those of you who have never seen Iyer, above is a caricature of his, drawn by a street-side artist in NYC. And Iyer is funnier than this looks. On a side-note, it is strongly believed that the artist has fancied Iyer naked, with shoes, a bow-tie, handcuffs and a guitar covering the essentials.

Anyways, let me skip all the boring stuff and get to what you guys have been waiting for. The Iyeronics.

Walking in DC, near the White House, we come across a huge STOP sign at an entry gate. Under which is another sign - "Permit Holders Only."
Me: "Hmmm.... we cant go"
Iyer: "No re. See, its Stop: Permit holders only. We dont have a permit right? We can go"

.... and he walks through. And doesnt get arrested.


In NYC, walking on Wall St., Iyer comes across a few cops.

Iyer: "Hey hey hey. NYPD! Do you think I could ask them to take a photo with me?"
Me: "Yeah, sure"
Iyer: "I'll ask 'em to point a gun at my forehead. How cool will that be?"
Me: "Lets keep walking"


Day 1 at my place, Iyer takes out a battery charger which has no connector for the socket. "It didnt go into the USA system, so I cut it off and insert the wires straight in."

Day 2 at my place, 2 AM. I hear a "Bhoop" sound, and then there is darkness. The funny part is I was washing my face with soap at this moment, so when I closed my eyes, there was light, and when I opened them, there was none, which for a moment put me in panic "I have lost vision" state. Till Iyer said, "I screwed up".

Lesson learnt - Never allow Iyer to stick two random wires into an electrical socket. So we spent a night in darkness, romantic candle-light and stuff.

And for those of you who think size does matter.



It doesnt.

This little guy can blow up an entire apartments electricity.

Foot-In-Mouth Moments

Team meetings. Indians, Chinese, Americans. Talk, talk, talk. Time for a break.

I turn to the Chinese Biostatistician sitting next to me. "So, do you know Kung-Fu?"

Team Lunch. Everyone is gulping Italian food. The conversation is about different countries and their culture. I turn to my Chinese friend. "So, do you know Kung-Fu?"

Then, sometime after this, I was with a friend of mine who was talking about how a Chinese friend of his came and asked him if elephants walk about on Indian roads, to which he asked if all of China knows Kung-Fu. And both smiled and went their respective ways.

"But, whats wrong with asking if he knows Kung-Fu?"
"Dude, its offensive. How would you feel if someone asked whether Indians roam around on flying carpets. Or if India is about cows and elephants?"

Ok, that explains why my year-end bonus was not what I expected it to be.




In a slightly off mood with a friend over not getting some stuff done right.

She: Ok, ok, lets forget it and get on with what we have at hand?
Me: No!
She: No?
Me: No! Coz everything you and I end up doing is not gonna last right for more than 2 minutes.
[Silence]
She: (grinning) 2 minutes eh cowboy?
Me: OK! Not EVERYTHING!!




My company had a lay-off sometime ago. Some of the people who got laid off, got a good 6 months of salary in severance, took 2 months of vacations and joined a sister company when they came back.

After hearing this, the great me goes public with the sentence, "I should have got laid!!"



Many more 'funny' moments coming up soon - coz Iyer will be in Baltimore over this weekend. Any ideas on how I should give him a warm welcome? Not turning up at the airport to receive him would be a good start, no?